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July 17, 2001
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Issue #11

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August 7, 2001

Will MJ Return?

#23 back in action

Rumors abound that Jordan traded Laron Profit to free up the 3 spot for his return. However, the move also brought Brendan "The Enforcer" Haywood to the Wiz in order to exact revenge on Ron Artest for breaking MJ's ribs during workouts this summer.
Luscious: Jordan Confirms Return to Spotlight
Select your Injury Pool Players for a shot at a an enews magazine subscription from
Men's Magazines
Butch Rogaine’s NFL Preview
See what NFL guru Butch Rogaine has to say about the fates of your favorite teams/players:
Tues 8/7 AFC East, Thurs 8/9 AFC Central and AFC West
Tues 7/31 NFC East, Thurs 8/2 NFC Central and NFC West
AFC East AFC Central AFC West
Buffalo Bills Baltimore Ravens Denver Broncos
Indianapolis Colts Tennessee Titans Oakland Raiders
Miami Dolphins Jacksonville Jaguars Seattle Seahawks
New York Jets Pittsburgh Steelers San Diego Chargers
New England Patriots Browns/Bengals Kansas City Chiefs

TwistedFans Tangled Web

vermeil.jpg (7515 bytes)

Vermeil Dance Single Reaches #1
Dick Vermeil realized an admitted "lifelong dream" this weekend, as his single "Jumpy-Jump Fever" ousted David Hasselhoff's "KITT was a Cool Car" from the top of the German Pop Charts. Immediately after hearing the news, Dick called a press conference in Kansas City to announce his retirement.

Poll Results
In last week's poll, TF readers were vehement in their selection to bean Ty Cobb in the ass with a baseball, but in the end they felt Rickey deserved it more.
This week's issue is dedicated to the memory of Minnesota Vikings' Tackle Korey Stringer who passed away as a result of heat exhaustion sustained at Monday's pre-season morning practice.

TwistedFans Scoreboard

Sergei - once
Anna - twice
Ryan Leaf - Wild Draw Four
Trent Dilfer - "Uno"
Gungahlin Didgeridoos - 15
Canberra Wallabies - 36
(Survivor II Boomerang League)

Twisted Cruller
We Scour the Web So
You Don't Have To!

* NFL >> 'Real World' meets the Ravens
* MJ >> I spy a comeback by Rick Telander
* NHL >>Satan gets 2-year, $6.8M deal from arbitrator
* Anna K. >> Her play may not sparkle, but her finger does
* NBA >> Just Try Kicking Sand in Camby's Face Now by Chris Broussard (NYT - sub req'd)

Laugh Track

Least Famous Pro Wrestlers

The Iron Enuretic
Larry "The Leper" Lopez
Daquiri Ron Duquesne
Post-Colostomy Pete Burke
Lavender Lee Mulligan
Al "The Actuary" Hays
The Telemarketer


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