Issue #10

The World's Funniest Athletic Supporters

July 31, 2001

Christ to Athletes: "I’m Not Helping You Guys Anymore!"

    Jesus Christ announced today that he has better things to do than help athletes complete basic tasks such as catching passes and slamdunking basketballs. In a written statement, Christ indicated that he must devote all his energies to fighting the Devil who has gotten "bigger and stronger" in recent years. 
NASCAR Announces New Market Expansion
Tyson Scores Comeback Sex- Assault Victory
TF Previews the Upcoming NFL Season
Butch’s NFL Predictions
See what NFL guru Butch Rogaine has to say about the fates of your favorite teams/players:
     Tues 7/31 NFC East, Thurs 8/2 NFC Central and NFC West
     Tues 8/7 AFC East, Thurs 8/9 AFC Central and AFC West
NFC East NFC Central NFC West
New York Giants Chicago Bears New Orleans Saints
Philadelphia Eagles Tampa Bay Bucaneers St. Louis Rams
Washington Redskins Green Bay Packers San Francisco 49ers
Arizona Cardinals Minnesota Vikings Atlanta Falcons
Dallas Cowboys Detroit Lions Carolina Panthers

TwistedFans Tangled Web

Tyson Scores Comeback Sex-Assault Victory
"Iron" Mike Tyson reportedly scored a comeback victory over an unidentified woman at his training house July 16th. Craftily dodging her verbal rejections to his advances, Tyson eventually suppressed his adversary with a hard body blow to the anus.  "I am the king of all women, no woman can beat me," Tyson stated confidently at his arraignment last Thursday. Tyson then blubbered uncontrollably as he pounded the living shit out of a nearby helpless camerawoman.
Poll Results
In last week's poll, an equal number of TF readers selected Becky and Lauren while Grandmama Larry Johnson came in a close second.
Photos: Women's Raquet Sports

  Newsletter Sign-Up | Send to a Friend

Twisted Headlines

Warren Sapp arrested after drunken bar brawl with urinal

New York GM Scott Layden abandons plans to retool team, begins scouting for Knicks City Dancers

A's turn back clock, wear F-Troop uniforms in attempt to spark successful second half


TwistedFans Scoreboard

Tour de France Victories -3
Testicles - 1
Primetime - Retired
Neon Deion - Retired

Twisted Cruller
We Scour the Web So
You Don't Have To!

* MLB>>Baseball's Unwritten Rules by Dan Shanoff
* Playboy & the WNBA>>The Naked Truth by ChrisMcKendry

Masthead is not intended for persons under 18.

Privacy Policy

Advertiser Info

Copyright © 2001 TwistedFans, Inc., ARRAWR.


Space Monkey Marketing