bgcolor="#99CCFF" width="96">Left: The Bills are hoping their training camp prison will make Rob Johnson's teammates love him. The Buffalo Bills will dominate the AFC East with a West Coast offense implemented by new Head Coach Gregg Williams and offensive coordinator Mike Sheppard. Not only are we impressed with the extra ‘g’ in Williams name, but also the team’s decision to cut Doug Flutie. The QB played in Canada (the North Coast) too long. Plus, his cereal sucked!! Expect QB Rob Johnson to get rid of the ball quickly – usually to his own players – and beat up on a weak division.

The Bills have made every attempt to unify the locker room around Johnson. “We’re tryin’ to create prison-like conditions more conducive to creating male affection,” noted tight ends coach Dan Neals. Even if that project fails, the team still has the tools it needs to win. Although the Bills have no proven RB, TE Jay Remiersma and FB Larry Centers will help the new pass-oriented offense move along. The Bills are not great, but you don’t need to be with their schedule or division.

     Butch’s Prediction: Bills 10-6

Colts QB Peyton Manning will spend this season coping with the revelation of a deep dark family secret: his real father is Terry Bradshaw. This shouldn’t effect his physical skill, but one wonders whether Manning will now become obsessed with his hairline and speech. Manning is a great QB, but Jim Mora is a perennial loser. Furthermore, their defense leaves a lot to be desired.

Colts have enough to make a playoff run, but they need everything going right at the same time. Both Manning and RB Edgerrin James will have to stay healthy for the entire season. Furthermore, there needs to be a WR other than Marvin Harrison making big plays. While the Colts have a nice offense, they’ll have to count on young players like FS Idrees Bashir and LB Rob Morris to shore up the defense. That’s a lot to expect considering what complete disarray the whole team is in. Chad Bratzke gets a lot of sacks, but they mean nothing unless others are performing around him.

      Butch’s Prediction: Colts 9-7

Miami Dolphins QB Jay Fiedler rushed for more yards last year than Dan Marino did in his entire career. Why? Because he can’t pass. In fact, he can’t really run either – at least not like a Vick, McNabb or Culpepper. The fish must spend another year trying to win with smoke, mirrors, and defense. Expect the latter to kick ass and help the team win nine games. If Lamar Smith can’t repeat last year’s performance (1,000+ yards rushing), Jay Fiedler will be a dead man -- as defenders gear up to poach him.

      Butch’s Prediction: Dolphins 9-7

If Jets QB Vinny Testaverde was in college right now, he’d be favored to win another Heisman (a la geezer Chris Weinke). This is the NFL though. The guy has been getting injured nonstop since his Achilles rupture. In addition, he’s lost rookie WR Santana Moss for several months, and there’s not enough at the WR position to take an opposing defense’s attention away from Wayne Chrebet. Matthew Hatchette is still an unknown commodity at wide receiver, because he’s had the benefit of playing in a high powered Minnesota offense. Don’t be surprised if he sputters in the Hoffalands.

The rest of the team is fairly sound, but no WR’s and an aging (37 year old) QB make for a bleak outlook. Vinny isn’t a proven Superbowl-caliber QB. The team will be coached by rookie Herm Edwards, not Parcells, and there is no Keyshawn star quality on offense.

      Butch’s Prediction: Jets 7-9

The Patriots will lose for their country – someone has to.

      Butch’s Prediction: Pats 5-11

Butch Rogaine must cope with the fact that his father is not Nick Buoniconti.
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Issue #12

  NFC Preview
  Davis Threatens
Moving Raiders

  Analyzing Bob 
Brenly’s “Unwritten Rules of Baseball”

    Inside the Arizona Cardinals' Training Camp: "Those Gentle Birds"




























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