Reporting With Balls



Mr. Bozack’s Corner: 4/15/02



Currently on TwistedFans.com

Issue #45

     This weekend had to be the ultimate sports-fanatic weekend.  Despite the fact that it was 72 degrees outside I spent the majority of the day indoors. I’m not proud of this, but, I watched sports all day long. I spent the day watching Tiger win the Masters, the Mets beat the Expos, Venus Williams defeat Justine Henin to win the Tampax/Avon/Ex-Lax Tennis Championship and flipping back and forth between the triple-header of NBA games on NBC. While I was flipping channels I did do other things to keep myself busy like reading the paper, cleaning the house etc. In other words I had a typical Sunday afternoon. It wasn’t until 8pm that I watched a TV-show other that did wasn’t sports related, and immediately I found material for this week’s column.

"Do I get green pants for finishing second? ~ Retief Goosen


     I knew that the Masters was over the minute I heard Retief Goosen say he was going to play his game and not worry about what Tiger was doing.  Yo, Retief if you gotta tell yourself that you will not focus on Tiger then you’re already worrying about him and not concentrating on beating him. Tiger has got to have the biggest psychological advantage in sports since Michael Jordan when he is leading the pack.  The guy wins just by showing up because the other players are so concerned about not making mistakes and letting him get too big a lead. Yet when Tiger does make a mistake they can’t capitalize.  

     Tiger is just awesome though, I don’t care what the major media people say, it’s cool knowing that the tournament is over and that no one will be catching Mr. Woods. I like to watch the other guys fall apart as they struggle to match Tiger hole for hole. But for some reason I hate the Yankees and the 49’ers and Duke, go figure. I guess I just like watching history being made, but only by teams or people I like.  


     After reading last week in Mr. B’s corner that I thought he was soft and would be traded in a year or two, Vince Carter has told reporters that he has been watching the Toronto Raptors play and has plans to adjust his game to fit the team. [eds. note: even though we can't confirm that Vince actually read last week's column.... the rest of the story is true] Carter refused to say what changes he will make to his game, but lets hope that it includes going to the rack hard instead of settling for long-range bombs.  Sometime over the last year Vince Carter stopped going to the hole, it could have been because his knee was hurting him or more likely I suspect it was because Carter was shying away from contact. 

     Apparently, former Raptor Charles Oakley knew what he was doing when he called Carter out last year during the playoffs. Unfortunately, instead of management keeping Oak-tree around to school Carter, they shipped his ass off to Chicago to get him away from Vince.

     Hopefully, Vince really has learned something while sitting out. I’m still skeptical; in one of his more recent quotes, Vince stated that he has accepted the fact that he will not be back this season.  Come on Vince, what about the saying “I’m doing all that I can to get back, and hopefully, if we advance to the second round, I can play.” If he had said that, I might have felt more optimistic that he will change when he comes back, as for now, its wait and see.


     Has anyone else noticed that the children on TV are the most obnoxious, annoying, troublesome, little bastards you’ve ever seen. It seems that every child on TV or in the movies are 10 going on 35. They smoke pot, they drink and party whenever their parents are away and when confronted with their misdeeds they always seem to turn the tables and make the parents reconsider whether they are doing the right thing by punishing them. When I see Hollywood’s version of what children are like it makes me want to do two things -- 1: not have kids and 2: wish I could reach through the TV screen and smack the kid silly. According to Hollywood, kids are only around to make everyone’s life miserable. The kids are always mopey and angry because … well who knows what the fuck they’re angry about?

     Am I delusional? I barely rebelled as a kid, and I would never think of sneaking off to a party without permission. If my mom had to come to a party to drag me out, it would not have been pretty. But maybe I’m wrong maybe kids are really exactly as they are portrayed on the tube. If you were to believe Hollywood’s version of reality, all teenagers rebel, and cause problems. However, as luck would have it my wife is a psychologist so she is paid to know this shit. According to my wife, who was only too glad to flaunt her knowledge on the subject, only 20% of adolescents actually go through a rebellious stage. If that’s the case, can someone tell this to the writers in Hollywood so that we can see some variations on the teenage-angst stereotype?


"Gimme a friggin break" ~ Ja Gi 

     All I had to do was glance at the article on the back page of the New York Post last week to get pissed off.  I’m beginning to believe that the media in New York would like nothing else than to see the well-paid NY sports stars fall flat on their faces. Jason Giambi hits two home runs in a game after a slow start and what’s the headline? Giambi hits two, but strikes out three times! Hello! This is baseball, failure is a part of the package, have they forgotten that baseball is a sport where a guy is a superstar if he succeeds 35% percent of the time? It seems that unless Giambi comes through in every situation he is a bum who is being paid $120 million. 

     Want more negativity, read, Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News who apparently supports the booing of Giambi at Yankee stadium because he wrote: “Giambi has not earned the right to be cheered in New York.” Granted Lupica loves to hear himself speak, (if you’ve ever caught his act on the Sports Reporters on ESPN Sunday mornings, then you know what I mean), but what the hell does that mean Giambi hasn’t earned the right to be cheered at Yankee stadium? 

       I don’t recall seeing the memo that said whatever a player did in another uniform is wiped clean once they play in NY.  I don’t want to be here defending Giambi every week, (I mean come on he’s a Yankee), but his situation is similar to what happens all the time when superstar athletes come to NY. All of a sudden their past accomplishments with their former teams mean nothing and the only thing that does matter is what the superstar does here. That’s bull, but I’ve pointed out before these are middle-aged bitter non-millionaire reporters, who get angry because these athletes have the nerve to earn ridiculous amounts of money.

Mr. Bozack rants each week about any topic he chooses for TwistedFans.com. If you got a problem with that you can send him email at [email protected].

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Mr. Bozack’s Corner: Jason Booed in NY, the Martinez Feud, Vince and Dumb Dads on TV

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