Reporting With Balls

Mr. Bozackís Corner: 3/17/02

Currently on TwistedFans.com

Issue #41

††††††††††† Since itís St. Pattyís day I wonít dis the Irish. Actually, I have no issues with them anyway, although they should have beaten Duke yesterday.


††††††††††† Who is really responsible when athletes donít graduate from college? Is it the coach or is the athletes themselves? Nowadays even if players do graduate people bitch and moan about the fact that they have a degree in Sociology. Whatís that all about? If you are unaware, ESPN had a show called ďOutside the LinesĒ on a few weeks ago dealing with the low graduation rates of student-athletes. Dukeís athletes were highlighted because 40% of the basketball players receive a degree in sociology while only 2% of the regular student body does so. I say who cares! Isnít it good enough for them to have a degree? Must the student-athlete sham include a degree in micro-physics in order for validation. A degree is a degree why should it matter that other students donít get the same type of degree. On the flip-side, should we really care whether or not Jason Williams or Drew Gooden graduate? Did anyone say boo when Tiger Woods left Stanford early or when Michael Jordan or Magic Johnson or even Bill Gates or Michael Dell left school early to make millions. No one said anything when computer geeks left school to work for the dot-coms during the big explosion. Whenever the sports programs or magazines decide to publish graduation rates its just a facade, so they can pretend to care, and because they had a slow sports week.

††††††††††† RUBEN THE THIEF

Ruben Rivera††††††††††† Ruben Rivera the spare outfielder for the New York Yankees was thrown off the team because he stole Derek Jeterís game glove and a bat from his locker. Rivera reportedly sold the items to a sports memorabilia for $2,500. You have to be the dumbest guy in the world to f*ck with Derek Jeterís stuff. The guy blew $800,000 in order to make $2,500. Everyone knows Jeter IS THE YANKEES. Case in point, anyone heard from Chad Curtis after he got into a dispute with DJ? One of the reasons David Wells was traded for Clemens was because he reported rubbed Jeter the wrong way. Two days after the story broke, Rivera was quoted as saying ďIt was a rookie mistakeĒ. Apparently, Rivera figured he would not have gotten caught if he were a veteran. He said he didnít do it for the money so the question is? Why do it anyway, and why take Jeterís game glove and not his spare shit. The Moral of the story is that you can beat your wife/girlfriend (i.e. Darryl Strawberry) and keep your job with the Yankees, you can do drugs and drink alcohol (ala Doc Gooden and Steve Howe) and still keep a job with the Yankees, but donít steal from Jeter!

††††††††††† NHL HITZ

††††††††††† If you havenít played it yet, go out and find a friend who has it. Iím talking about NHL Hitz, one of the coolest games for PS2 and the X-BOX. There is just nothing like playing a hockey game that limits the action to 8 players (3 on 3 plus two goalies). It may not be for the purist out there, but I like how the players turn red and blue as they get hotter and hotter from scoring on your palís shitty goalie. The game is fast paced and fun. And now I donít get a commission from whomever makes the game.


††††††††††† Whatís with all the hoopla about whether A Beautiful Mind is accurate or not? Why does it matter? Iím tired of people chiming in about how inaccurate a film is compared to the true story. If they want an accurate portrayal of the characters then they should watch a documentary. Hollywood movies are not supposed to be accurate, they do what they can to come close, but artistic interpretation is always available to spice up the story.††

††††††††††† If someone were doing my story, I would hope they would spice it up. I would expect the directors to include several scenes where I beat up people, yelled at my editors to publish my column or else and make me look better than I really do. No one wants to see a movie about a guy who sits at home watching sports and listening to sports radio for ideas to write about. Yet every year people get bent out of shape about how some film is inaccurate because ďeveryone knows Marilyn Monroe had three breasts and ______ director left that fact out.Ē I hope when they do my movie, Iím hung like Marky Mark (aka Dirk Diggler) in Boogie Nights.

†††††††††††††† MARCH MADNESS

††††††††††† For the record I have UCONN, DUKE, KANSAS and OKLAHOMA in my final four with Kansas finally winning the big one. Nothing can screw up a pool like a team no one expected to crash the party i.e. Kent State or Missouri and a team that flames out early like USC or Cincinnati. By the way can someone get Dick ďDuke ass lickerĒ Vitale to shut the f*ck up. When is the last time that guy gave us information that we didnít already know? All he does is scream and yell about some coach who has nothing to do with the action on the floor. Vitale does not seem to realize that itís the players on the court who determine whatís going to happen and not Coach K or The F*cking General. If you have bum players you have bum players and nothing is going to change that. You think Coach K could take the players from Fordham and take them to the final four? I donít think so.

†††† TwistedFans.com readers can now enjoy the angry man rants of Mr. Bozack each week.† He's a sports fan tired of hearing the clichťs and crap that passes for sports talk and heíll include his opinion on whatever topic comes to mind... BECAUSE ITíS HIS COLUMN!†
†††† If you got a problem with that you can send him email at [email protected].

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