NBA Announces Inductees to
Inaugural Class of Posse Hall of Fame



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Issue #45

     NBA Commissioner David Stern praised the 2002 Class of the Posse Hall of Fame, which honors the men and women who keep NBA stars happy. "We at the NBA realize that it is difficult for talented and rich athletes to be enjoy life. They live terrible existences in which they are lavished with fame and fortune. Posses make life bearable for them. To all those posse members here tonight, we salute you!" Here is a rundown of the four inductees to the Posse Hall of Fame:
Motif Jenkins: Honored for contributions toward the posse activities of corn row weaving and dog handling. Jenkins, a member of Latrell Sprewell's posse, braids the star's hair, massages the bellies of his pitbulls after their dinner time, and polishes Sprewell's CD's.

Preacher Lester: A veteran of Larry Johnson's posse, Lester is an ordained minister whose responsibilities once included baptizing the retired forward's many children and trying to convince other players that Johnson was himself a god.

Charmaine Brown: The captain of Shaquille O'Neal's posse, she made contributions to the art of looking good in tight leather pants. Brown's presence also helped Shaq create the perception among peers that he was a heterosexual.

Dexter James: Since the second grade, James has been responsible for making sure that Chris Webber's shoe laces are tied at all times. In addition, the guy who, as a boy, once threw rocks at other girls on CW's behalf, now rounds them up for booty calls at each city the Kings visit.

by Luscious Rosenbaum

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