Reporting With Balls

Mr. Bozackís Corner: 3/25/02

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Issue #42

††††††††††† I love this time of the year the baseball season is just around the corner, the real basketball and hockey seasons are about to begin and College basketball heads into the final four. But first, I have some issues to get off my chest.

††††††††††† THE OSCARS

"I think Halle Berry and Jennifer Connelly should've won just for the mere fact that they're gorgeous."

†††† Alright already, letís get this over-glamorized celebrity watching fest over with. I think Halle Berry should win just for the mere fact that sheís gorgeous, same for Jennifer Connelly. Russell Crowe has become such an ass over the past few weeks that Iím rooting against him. Denzel should have won for the The Hurricane two years ago and did a splendid job this year in Training Day . So did Tom Wilkerson who portrayed the father in the movie In the Bedroom . But since my job is to point out the dumb statements of the so-called critics lets get to it. First the woman on the Sunday Today Show from People Magazine who claimed that Denzel wouldnít win because he played a bad guy. No one wins for portraying bad guys huh, well apparently she forget about Anthony Hopkins winning for his role as Hannibal Lector in the The Silence Of The Lambs , or Marlon Brando in The Godfather, or Michael Douglas as Gordon Gecko in Wall Street or that Gene Hackman won in 1971 for his portrayal of the racist cop Popeye Doyle in the The French Connection . I could go on but I think you get the point. But of course critics on TV can make bold statements without anyone calling them on their misinformation. [Ed. Note: Click on the links to purchase DVD's at Amazon.com at 10% to 30% off; Free Super Saver Shipping on orders over $99]


†††† How many time have we all read a magazine or listened to some talking head declare some team as the winner of the SuperBowl or the World Series (i.e. the Rams or the Yankees) before the season begins. I know thatís their job and we all want to know what they think about our teams, but how many times are they wrong? Almost every time. Iíll give you my reasons why this is so; 1) they never consider trades that alter a teamsí makeup. We all know that trades are made to strengthen a weakness every year, yet no prognosticator factors that in. I realize itís hard to anticipate what trades will be made in the future, but canít they say ďif so and so added ______ to their teamĒ I guess there is some mandate handed down that says each sportsperson must say the same thing ďThe Yanks will win or the Lakers will not be defeated or Duke is the best team in the land.Ē Why play out the season if we already know that the Patriots or the Diamondbacks have no shot at winning?††

†††† With that in mind, I declare the Florida Marlins will defeat the Boston Red Sox in 6 games unless the Yankees defeat the Mets in 7. Seriously though, I think Portland will win the NBA crown and the Detroit Red Wings will win the Stanley Cup. And that either Kansas or Oklahoma will win the NCAA menís championship and that UConn women will dominate the womenís tournament.


†††† There is nothing worse in America than trying to find decent housing in NYC on a budget. If you have the money, you can live anywhere in the city and have everything at your fingertips, if you have a tight budget like I do, forget it. All the brokers show you are shoeboxes that pass for living quarters. They have more living space in the prison cells on OZ!. How the hell can brokers live with themselves charging anywhere from 15-18% fees just to walk you over to an apartment so you can see it. What a bunch of crap. Iím shocked at what passes for housing in this city, I canít do anything about it, but I can voice my displeasure until I earn enough money to get a bigger space in a part of the city I want and then I wonít care anymore. But really, for the amount of money they want for an apartment here, you could purchase a mansion elsewhere. I just donít like the system we have in place and wish there were some way of changing it.

††††††††††† ALIAS

wpe8.jpg (17085 bytes)††† I love this show. Itís about this beautiful spy chick who kicks ass and botches assignments every week while trying to finish graduate school. The concept is out-there (supposedly its based on the idea of Felicity as a spy) and totally unbelievable, but who cares Jennifer Garner is a total babe. Anyway, just about all the spies are good-looking except for the older dudes. Garnerís character Sydney Bristow is a double agent working for the CIA and a group of rogue agents called SD-6, each week she is sent on a mission without much briefing and told to retrieve some gadget -which she does-, but not before fucking things up. What I donít like is the time-off ABC keeps giving the show, whatever happened to network television just showing a program every week until the end of the season and then having re-runs during the summer.†

†††† Nowadays they show a program for 6 weeks, then its re-runs, then 2 or 3 more shows, then reruns and so on until one day the season is over or the show is canceled and we never knew it was on. I digress, so right now Sydney is supposed to be some 500 year-old prophecy come to fruition. The DSR (a deeply underground branch of the CIA) has her in custody, as if they can prevent the prophecies from coming true. Earth to stupid writers, if the prophecy is true, then locking up Sydney will not stop anything. I hate when TV shows or movies that are good have a hole in the plot the size of Texas. On Alias, people shoot at the main character from 10 feet away and miss yet she hits them and they drop like the storm troopers in Star Wars (didnít you ever wonder why they dropped like flies with all that armor on?). Jennifer/Sydney fell 50 feet to the ground landing on her back, and didnít even have a headache. Come on Josh (Josh Abrams is the producer and creator) act like your audience has a brain.


†††† Is the NBA too full of itself that it canít admit when their refs have screwed up? Over the past couple of weeks, the Nets lost a game because of a shot that came after the clock should have run out and the Bulls won a game when Jalen Rose of the Chicago Bulls, hit a shot well after time expired. However, the NBA backed their sorry-assed refs each time. We have all been trained to believe that no one can get off a shot with less only .5 of a second left on the clock, yet Cleveland Cavalier forward Lamond Murray was able to catch, turn and shoot in less than that time. Iím still waiting for a major sport to come clean and say: ďwe fucked up, sorry your team was screwed and after further review they will be awarded the win.Ē But nooooo instead anyone who complains gets fined and the league admits nothing. With so much at stake you would think that baseball or basketball would be confident enough to use modern technology to improve their product, but I guess that would be asking too much. Instead we have controversy that lasts for days because of a blown call that keeps some team from going to the super bowl or advancing to the NBA finals.†[Ed. Note: Mr. Bozack let's not forget what happened to Kobe a few weeks ago, you win some, you lose some.]


††† Another pet peeve of mine is listening to the sports heads who claim that refs should not call fouls that will decide the end of a game as if it doesnít happen all the time. What itís okay to call a foul during the middle of a game but somehow fouls or penalties are not committed at the end of games? Well, that would be nice if it were true, but unfortunately or fortunately refs do make those calls and will continue to make those calls. In fact here are some examples of calls that decided the end of games.

1)†††††††† 1988 NBA Championship, Kareem is fouled by Bill Lambier, Kareem hits the winning free throws.
2)†††††††† 1989 NCAA Championship game, Seton Hall vs. Michigan Rumeal Robinson is fouled and hits the winning free throws for the national championship.
3)†††††††† 2002 the tuck rule is introduced to America via Patriots v. Raiders game.
4)†††††††† NY Knick guard Hubert Davis is fouled by Scotty Pippen with 1.8 seconds left in the game, and hit the free throws to defeat the Bulls.
5)†††††††† NY Knick forward Larry Johnson is fouled by Antonio Davis and completes a 4-point play for a Knick win.
6)†††††††† 1985 World Series umpire blows the call at first base and Twins come from behind to win the game and the series.

††††††††††† As you can see, the talking heads just spout off shit without thinking about whether they are right or wrong, and unless you know your sports like I do, you just accept it without questioning them. God forbid if you try to correct them, theyíll only get angry and hangup or you or refuse to acknowledge their error. But now you have Mr. Bozack to set things straight.

Mr. Bozack rants each week about any topic he chooses for TwistedFans.com.†If you got a problem with that you can send him email at [email protected].

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