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Plummeting Mets Look
Back to Spirit of ‘86
for Answers
Key To Devils' Success – It's All In the Name
The Story that Venus & Serena's Dad has Kept Secret for Years
Stern Admits: Ratings Forced Me to Pay Troy Crooms to Hold Camby's Family Hostage
Jesse the Body to do WNBA Players and

Twisted Features

Q&A with Anna K.
Advice Guy Bry
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Strip Club Trial Gets
Out of Hand
Stalker just a
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Where are the White Guys?
Fenway Park is the New Love Shack
Corporate Sponsorship Sucks!


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Serena Williams
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Twisted Briefs
Return of the 
Unemployed Umps

Several umpires who were left unemployed after a "symbolic" resignation two years ago, returned to the field. The umps, even more out of shape than before, were wheeled onto the infield.
     Veteran umpire "Country" Joe West had to stop a game between the Astros and Cardinals when he started choking on a chunk of beef jerky that he had been gnawing on. 
     The game was interrupted again later, when West fell asleep leaning on Houston catcher Brad Ausmus.


Anna's Clean Undies
Universal StudiosPolice arrested a man who attempted to steal a pair of panties donated by Anna Kournikova to the Hard Rock Cafe. 
     "I just wanted to launder the panties for them," explained the man, whose tongue was filled with lint.


Benitez Blows Fuse, 
Leaves Field Confused

Down by the BayMets closer Armando Benitez was charged four thousand dollars for destruction he brought upon Pac Bell Park. What was striking about the relief pitcher's acts was where he committed them, rather than the extent of damage. After allowing the game winning hit to Giants' pinch hitter Benito Santiago, Benitez stalked off the field as the team celebrated.
     However, Benitez mistakenly entered the Giants clubhouse, where he destroyed the home team's bathroom. Halfway through his shower, he was greeted by several naked S.F. Giants who were ready to happily wash themselves off.
     "I just hope he didn't pee in there," said a surprised Barry Bonds after the game. 

Takes Knicks' Management Into His Own Hands

"Not My Dog!"

In yet another bizarre chapter to the New York Knicks' season – or rather off season, Latrell Sprewell has taken it upon himself to better his team. Sprewell is believed to have lured teammates Allan Houston and Marcus Camby to his customized Mercedes Benz, where he hogtied and gently bludgeoned them with a tire iron before tossing them into the backseat.  
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