Nets Martin Suspended One Game For Committing Flagrant Foul On Self

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Issue #47

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ New Jersey Nets forward Kenyon Martin has been suspended for one playoff game, after a self inflicted flagrant foul he committed in the waning seconds of his team's 99-93 Game 1 win against Charlotte.

"There is no room in the game for what Kenyon did," explains Commissioner David Stern. According to video, as time ran out, Martin ran at a basket post and head butted it. Referee Eddie Rush immediately blew his whistle and eject Martin for a flagrant foul 2.

It is the first self-inflicted flagrant foul in recorded NBA history. In fact, many basketball experts have admitted not knowing such a penalty was possible.

Rush, for his part, gave the following explanation: "I turned around and saw Kenyon behaving violently, and players from both sides looking concerned -- so I blew the whistle. It was only a few seconds later when I realized that he was by himself." The game was already out of the Hornets reach, so the official left the call as is.

Coach Byron Scott, whose team will now be a player short, strangely defended the call. "He was trying to hurt one of my players," explains Scott. "I'm gonna want the refs to call that every time, without exception."

Butch Rogaine recently exposed Stern's contempt for Thorn's attempt to make basketball in NJ overshadow NY in a recent interview where Stern stated "Damn right! The Refs know the clock don't start running until AFTER Reggie's (Miller) release."

Byron Scott Eg-O-Meter

"Our desire and will to win right now is probably unmatched, besides the Lakers'."

"It gives us a chance to really prepare for the next series." ~~ Up 3-1 on Charlotte, Nets haven't won the series yet.

"I used to kick him out of the gym when he was younger." ~~ talking about Elden Campbell, Charlotte's starting center.

"We pretty much know they're in a desperate state right now, so we know they'll be willing to try anything." ~~after going up 2-0 on Charlotte.

"Sure, he was a snotty-nosed kid that could shoot the ball at Long Beach State, breaking records...He was too scared to play with the pros at UCLA." ~~joking about Lucious Harris after his breakout performance in Game 2 vs. Charlotte.

Willy P. Ondabich scours the papers for B.Scott quotes every day.

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