Twisted Rant: WHY UTAH!!



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Issue #36

   Can the imbeciles who decide where to hold the Olympics find some good sites for the Games? I know that there is a lot that goes into deciding which city's bid is chosen. There is the availability of venues and accommodations, municipal financing, investment by the private sector, and of course weather. But of all the cities in the U.S., was there really not a better candidate than Salt Lake City? American professional sports organizations barely even recognize the region as a part of our country, yet it's the place chosen for the entire world to display its athletic talent!

   Baseball, America's past time, will go to Montreal before it goes to Salt Lake City. Football, the most popular sport in the U.S., will sooner invest money in NFL Europe than investigate the possibilities of a Utah franchise. And let's not even get started about hockey.

   All Utah has going for it is the loser Jazz, who haven't won a thing in my lifetime in a state that isn't even known for jazz music! The city has a small population whose ancestors were so creative that they named a salty lake Salt Lake and then, all exhausted from thought, named a city Salt Lake City. How brilliant.

   My solution? How about a place like Colorado, where people like to stomp their feet in freezing weather while watching football. Or New York state, where the fans know more about sports than the athletes do. Any place is better than this athletically barren state of Utah. 

   And don't even bring up the college sports card, because Keith Van Horn and Shawn Bradley are some of your big college products in the NBA right now. The only thing that makes me associate Utah residents with the Winter Olympics is that they blend right into the snow. Maybe that's the whole formula for deciding who gets the Games.

Butch Rogaine issues with Utah started when he first heard a John Stockton CD.

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