Panthers Re-Join Texans in
NFL Expansion



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Issue #36

Come on--everybody try out!
CHARLOTTE, NC –  Starved for talent and trying to avoid becoming embarrassingly outshone by the expansion Houston Texans, the Carolina Panthers have re-declared themselves an expansion team for the upcoming 2002 NFL draft.

     The Charlotte Cheetahs, the Panthers' new name, will have their own NFL draft on Feb. 18th, and will be able to choose their new players from an extensive list of throwaways, semi-experienced journeyman, and unheralded 7th round rookies supplied by other NFL, NFL Europe, and Arena League teams.

     The expansion Texans on the other hand will have the luxury of assembling their team from an unprecedented high pool of talent.  Each NFL team was required to give up 5 players, but many of the players they've made available are simply casualties of the salary cap.  

     Some of the talent on this list include the likes of Tony Boselli, Keenan McCardell, Jessie Armstead, Derrick Alexander, Jeff Blake and Jamie Sharper.

     "We are begging the world's professional football teams to give us 5 players-- any 5," said a desperate John Fox, new head coach of the Cheetahs. "Please everyone, we're not that picky.  Come on--everybody try out!"

    In addition to this draft list, the Cheetahs have also extended invitations to brothers and cousins of NFL players, and to anyone else willing to walk-on during training camp.  A Cheetahs spokesman under anonymity has said that the main goal of this draft is basically "to avoid stinking up the good name of the NFL for a second straight season".

Which 5 Players you ask:

Willy P. Ondabich loves Cheetas.

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