Why the NFL Isn't Just About Tough Guys Anymore?

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Why the NFL Isn't Just About Tough Guys Anymore



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Issue #35

Pepsi panders Spears.
RANTINGS of an NFL FAN This week the WSJ reported that the NFL is making a big push for women as Super Bowl XXXVI approaches. How are they going about this? By offering a pregame serenade by Paul McCartney and an hour-long NFL special on Lifetime (For Women) where players cook bouillabaisse and watch game films with their wives.

NBC's Super Bowl Half-time Playmate Fear Factor was watched by a miniscule 6.2% of the country. The only explanation is that wives had control of the remote at halftime to watch U2.

     Why is this, I ask? Well the journal reports, it's because too many sissy men allow their wives to control the household finances and therefore men must "get their wives involved" in order to make the big ticket purchases. 

     And I quote: "given women's role in everything from buying season tickets to letting kids play football in the first place.... and with the average cost of four season tickets pushing $2,000, football can be a big household expense... most men can't spend that much without getting their wife involved...'women are the gatekeepers'."

Mariah Carey. Well at least she's not Nsync.
     What the fuck is wrong with you men? While the ads, commercials and pre-game shows are pandering to men "with big doses of babes, beer ads and sophomoric humor," we allow the league and its marketing gurus to reach out to women with these crappy ass singers like Sheryl Crow, Paul McCartney, Barry Manilow, and Marc Anthony and sensitive counter-programming.

     Pretty soon, if we let this continue, there won't be any cheerleaders roaming the sidelines naked. What if they change the game to two-hand touch? Is that what its gonna take for MEN to stand up, get off their lazy asses and take back control over family decisions and finances.

     I hope so because it's gonna be a sad day when Martha Stewart is sitting with Chris Collinsworth during pre-game analyzing San Francisco safety Ronnie Heard's bouillabaisse instead of his ability to knock people out of games.

K-Cebo Satashi does not write a weekly column for

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