TwistedFans.com Takes a Look Back at the Week in Sports

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Issue #46

Wednesday Thursday
Georgian Erika Greene (pictured) who won the $331 million Big Game lottery after playing the lottery for her first time said she planned to buy some shoes. If you're looking for a way to spend that cash, we suggest buying the Montreal Expos. Asian protesters went wild this week boycotting several apparel retailers who teamed up with NBA players. It turned out that several of the player's fashion designs were deemed rascist including one (pictured) created by Steve Nash in honor of his Chinese born teammate Wang (pronounced WONG) Zhi-Zhi.
Friday Saturday
Friday marked an historic occasion of sorts when 15-year-old Bryan Fogler of Bethpage Long Island successfully completed the 1,000,000th Anna Kournikova-inspired masturbatory experience.
When asked for comment, Anna said, "I'm, uh... happy to have been a part of this historic event, uh... I think" Fogler did not return multiple calls left on his parent's answering machine at his Long Island home.
Shortly after saturday's near win against Kings, Utah Jazz forward Scott Padgett (pictured) was taken to the emergency room of a nearby Sacramento hospital. It seems that in the locker room after the game Padget accidentally walked into veteran Karl Malone's elbow.
The blow broke Padgett's nose and he is not expected to be available for Game 2 of the Jazz-Kings series. When asked about the incident M
alone stated "He walked into my elbow." Padgett on the other hand was quoted: If I had to do it all over again, I probably wouldn't have gone for it."


Pic of the week

Patriotism was on full display at the Palace in Auburn Hills on sunday where Defensive Player of the Year Ben Wallace became the 4th player in NBA history to lead the league in blocks and rebounds. The other three: Bill Walton, Hakeem Olajuwon, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Wallace got 19 points and 20 boards against the lowly Raptors. To add insult to injury a chorus of boos drowned out 'O Canada' to start the game. Later, when Toronto attempted a run, the crowd chanted ``USA, USA!''

That's some Golf Trophy!

K-Cebo Satashi is a senior editor at TwistedFans.com.

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