Axis Of Evil Strikes At Olympics!



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Issue #37

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Despite a horde of prowling National Guardsmen and surveillance cameras everywhere, a handful of American athletes had their medals stolen by citizens of a country belonging to what President George W. Bush calls the "Axis of Evil."

     TwistedFans has learned that one or two of those Halfpipe guys, we're not sure which one as they all look alike, was robbed of his winning medal.  The athlete, who would be quoted if he made a lick of sense, gave the gist that he was wandering around the Olympic village trying to score with a Norwegian figure skater in a hot tub, when two men jumped out speaking a strange tongue and then forcibly took his medal.
If this were an isolated incident, the amount of suspects would be staggering, as clearly English is a strange tongue to this young man.

     After giving his story to our source, the man with the aluminum foil hat, the Halfpiper promptly turned and walked into a tree, after which he could be heard muttering, "Whoa, where'd this come from?"

     Fortunately, several sober American athletes also reported similar encounters, and the suspects were soon singled out as the two members of Iran's luge team. The two were bailed out of jail by Jane Fonda, who quickly bought them two gleaming gold medals and airline tickets to Vietnam.

Razorwitt will be following up next week with the outraged Iranian athletes.

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