Knicks GM Makes Futile Attempt to Place Camby on NFL Expansion List



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Issue #37

Marcus Camby hits the floor and is out again.
SCARSDALE, NY "Whadda ya mean I can't put Marcus on the list?" said New York Knicks general manager Scott Layden, his breath smelling of bourbon as he addressed the press outside Madison Square Garden. 

     Unable to make a trade that would help bring his team back into playoff contention, Layden attempted to put oft-injured center Marcus Camby on the NFL's expansion draft list.

     "But the Texans can use him, he'll be fully healed and good to go by preseason," pleaded Layden, as NBA executive Russ Granik kept explaining to him that the list was for football players, and that the Jets and Giants were the only NFL teams in New York.

     "Then I'll trade him to the Giants!" he said with glee. "Or to NFL Europe. They've got Serbian guys in NFL Europe. You know how good those Serbian guys are. Oh, wait! Maybe we can get a Croatian guy. Yeah! Serbians are an old fad."

     Vlanikos Blanikos, general manager of the Rhein Fire, an NFL Europe franchise,  nearly executed a trade that would send kicker Sloras Floras to the Knicks. However, a League official then explained to Blanikos that his team was not a basketball team and that Camby could not play football.

     Desperate for height in the middle and space under the cap, it's uncertain what move, if any Layden will have available to him ... although he has already been seen attempting to broker a deal with the Special Olympics Men's Basketball team "C'mon man, I'll trade you this one very big guy for 10 of your little guys," he was witnessed whispering to the team captain.

Butch Rogaine thinks Layden wishes he never traded for Patrick Ewing for Knight, or selected Frederic Weis or signed Allan Houston for 100 million... the list goes on.

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