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TwistedFans Contraction Exclusive:
The Shocking Truth of Twins Attendance Records


Currently on TwistedFans.com

Injunction or not, Bud Selig plans on shutting the Twins down.
TWISTEDFANS HQ A Twins source who preferred to remain anonymous gave TwistedFans exclusive access to the team's attendance records, which verify what many have known for a long time: the Twins must go!

Minnesota reported an average per game attendance of 20,000 fans per game, which isn't that bad of a figure. However, a closer look shows a different picture. The Twins hired an accounting firm to send auditors to the Metrodome for every game of the 2001 season.

Of the 20,000 people who passed through Metrodome turnstiles, an average of 10,000 were passersby, buying tickets so that they could use the dome's restrooms. None of them stayed around to watch the game, however. Further, an average of 5,000 tickets per game were given to churches, synagogues, mosques, and charities, who in turn gave those tickets to homeless people looking for a place to stay warm. About 3,000 of the people who passed through the turnstiles each game were Canadian tourists who mistakenly believed the Metrodome to be a mall. Another 1,000 came thinking that it was tractor pull night at the dome. These figures reveal that of the 20,000 who entered the building per Twins game, only about 1,000 came to see the game.

The attendance figures are a blow to the Players Union, which has been against contraction and has maintained that baseball in Minnesota is financially feasible. In a related matter, while a complete analysis of the Nielsen ratings for Twins television broadcasts is not yet complete, there is already strong evidence suggesting that a large percentage of viewers were people who believed they were watching grass grow.


Luscious Rosenbaum does not endorse the contraction of any franchises unless the Mets get first dibs on Doug Mientkiewicz and Vladimir Guerrero.


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