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Calhoun Kicks Auriemma's Ass Outside UConn Student Center

 

 

Currently on TwistedFans.com

Issue #42
STORRS, CT – Frustrated by years of being outshone by his UConn counterpart, Jim Calhoun finally gave it to women's basketball head coach Geno Auriemma on the front steps of the campus' student center Tuesday. "I'm gonna kick your ass," Calhoun was heard saying moments before he bodyslammed Auriemma onto the pavement and rubbed leaves in his face. "Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh nyeh nyeh," continued Calhoun while he tormented Auriemma endlessly with knuckle sandwiches, wedgies and noogies.

by Willy P. Ondabich

TwistedFans NCAA Tourney Recap

In case you missed it, here's TwistedFans Full Coverage of the 2002 NCAA Tourney. 

  • Winthrop Can't Wait to Get Shit Kicked Out of Them Again by a No. 1 SeedIndianacheerleader.jpg (45735 bytes)
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  • Bracket-Filling Tips by Willy P. Ondabich
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  • Devil Possesses Knight, Protests Duke's Use of Blue Devil Mascot
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  • ESPN Original Movie: Rick Majerus A Season on the Binge Garners Fat Ratings
     The heartbreaking tale of overeating, binge-eating, sleep-eating, and hand truck-eating of former Utah coach Rick Majerus netted a 26.2 Nielsen rating this past Sunday night.  The heavyweight hoopster was portrayed by portly comic Louie Anderson. 
         Memorable quotes from the film included Majerus screaming at his players during practice: "Take me to Sizzler--NOW!!" and, "Nobody can't tell me not to have six chili-engulfed quadruple bacon cheeseburgers for lunch--NOBODY!!!"  Majerus declined comment on the film but has recently been spotted at a local Pizza Hut in Burbank, CA wolfing down three P'Zones. by Willy P. Ondabich
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  • Verbs Randomly Inserted Throughout Box Score Summary
    Davenport, IA – Sportscaster Howie Mann of WCRN SportzBeat radio closed his eyes and picked the verbs "maul" and "edge" out of a hat for the midnight edition of the 20/20 Sports Buzz last Sunday.  "....the Terps mauled UConn, 90-82, and the Jayhawks edged the Ducks, 104-86...."   
         "What in the hell games was that guy watching?" asked longtime listener and grammar school English teacher Paul Tavianini. "That's not at all what happened in either game--these guys are sportscasters, and they tell the story like that?"
    by Willy P. Ondabich
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Selection Breakdown
 Statistical Breakdown of the number of 2002 TwistedFans NCAA TOURNEY BRACKET participants that have picked a particular team to win each round.

NCAA TOURNAMENT PERCENTAGE BREAKDOWN
Sweet 16   Elite 8   Final 4 Championship
Duke
Maryland
Kansas
Cincinnati
Connecticut
Oklahoma
Oregon
Alabama
Miss. St.
Pittsburgh
Gonzaga
Arizona
Ohio State
Georgia
Texas Tech
Illinois
California
Michigan St.
NC State
OK St.
USC
Texas
Kentucky
UCLA
Florida
Miami (FL)
Wake Forest
Marquette
Kent State
Pepperdine
Missouri
Boston Coll.
West. Kntcky
Pennsylvania
Stanford
Ole Miss
South. Ill.
Xavier
Indiana
Cent. Conn.
Hawaii
Hampton
St. Johns
Wisconsin
Tulsa
Valparaiso
Notre Dame
Utah
San Dgo St.
Boston U
Creighton
Ill.-Chic.
Wyoming
Florida Atl.
Holy Cross
Montana
McNeese St.
Siena
Charlotte
Murray State
UCSB
UNC-Wilm.
Davidson
Winthrop		 92.23
88.07
80.72
67.44
55.96
51.18
49.06
46.28
34.01
32.82
25.44
22.00
16.61
15.48
11.97
10.21
8.08
7.74
7.46
7.10
6.65
6.56
6.48
6.42
6.11
4.64
4.47
4.05
3.93
3.62
3.61
2.15
1.48
1.17
1.15
1.11
0.95
0.72
0.59
0.54
0.42
0.39
0.38
0.37
0.34
0.26
0.24
0.16
0.15
0.13
0.10
0.09
0.09
0.08
0.07
0.06
0.06
0.06
0.05
0.05
0.05
0.05
0.05
0.04

Duke
Maryland
Kansas
Oklahoma
Cincinnati
Arizona
Gonzaga
Connecticut
Oregon
Illinois
USC
Miss. St.
Kentucky
Florida
Ohio State
Alabama
Marquette
Pittsburgh
Georgia
Texas Tech
UCLA
Miami (FL)
NC State
West. Kntcky
Michigan St.
Stanford
Wake Forest
Missouri
Texas
Indiana
OK St.
Boston Coll.
California
Pepperdine
Xavier
Ole Miss
Wisconsin
Tulsa
South. Ill.
St. Johns
Notre Dame
Hawaii
Kent State
Valparaiso
Utah
San Dgo St.
Pennsylvania
Boston U
Hampton
Cent. Conn.
Siena
Holy Cross
Creighton
Winthrop
Ill.-Chic.
Wyoming
Charlotte
Montana
UNC-Wilm.
UCSB
Florida Atl.
McNeese St.
Murray State
Davidson		 88.38
76.93
70.67
38.58
25.68
15.47
13.94
11.78
10.94
7.13
5.05
4.68
4.04
3.87
3.50
3.36
2.27
1.86
1.74
1.05
0.99
0.81
0.76
0.73
0.70
0.54
0.45
0.43
0.41
0.34
0.29
0.21
0.21
0.21
0.16
0.16
0.14
0.13
0.13
0.13
0.13
0.13
0.11
0.09
0.07
0.06
0.06
0.06
0.05
0.05
0.04
0.04
0.03
0.03
0.03
0.03
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01

Duke
Kansas
Maryland
Oklahoma
Cincinnati
Connecticut
Oregon
Arizona
Gonzaga
Illinois
USC
Kentucky
Alabama
Florida
Miss. St.
Pittsburgh
Ohio State
Marquette
Georgia
Texas Tech
West. Kntcky
Michigan St.
UCLA
NC State
Stanford
Indiana
Miami (FL)
Texas
Wake Forest
Missouri
OK St.
Boston Coll.
California
Notre Dame
Pepperdine
St. Johns
Wisconsin
Hawaii
Kent State
Tulsa
Xavier
Siena
San Dgo St.
South. Ill.
Utah
Valparaiso
Ole Miss
Pennsylvania
Winthrop
Boston U
Holy Cross
Cent. Conn.
Wyoming
Hampton
Creighton
Ill.-Chic.
Charlotte
Montana
UNC-Wilm.
Florida Atl.
UCSB
McNeese St.
Davidson
Murray State		 70.24
45.66
38.56
10.97
7.84
3.80
3.64
3.41
2.61
2.31
1.56
1.31
1.13
1.10
1.06
0.61
0.61
0.46
0.36
0.28
0.27
0.22
0.22
0.20
0.17
0.14
0.12
0.10
0.09
0.08
0.07
0.06
0.06
0.06
0.05
0.05
0.05
0.04
0.03
0.03
0.03
0.03
0.03
0.03
0.03
0.03
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.00
0.00
 Duke
Kansas
Maryland
Cincinnati
Oklahoma
Arizona
Connecticut
Gonzaga
Oregon
Illinois
Kentucky
USC
Florida
Alabama
Ohio State
Pittsburgh
Miss. St.
UCLA
Marquette
Georgia
Michigan St.
Texas Tech
West. Kntcky
Indiana
NC State
Stanford
Miami (FL)
Missouri
Notre Dame
Texas
California
Wake Forest
Boston Coll.
OK St.
Wisconsin
Hawaii
Siena
St. Johns
Xavier
San Dgo St.
Kent State
Utah
Pennsylvania
Pepperdine
Holy Cross
Ole Miss
Wyoming
Boston U
Tulsa
South. Ill.
Valparaiso
Cent. Conn.
Hampton
Creighton
Montana
Charlotte
Winthrop
UCSB
Ill.-Chic.
UNC-Wilm.
Davidson
McNeese St.
Florida Atl.
Murray State		 39.46
23.77
19.97
3.99
3.77
1.33
1.15
1.12
0.99
0.82
0.54
0.38
0.34
0.33
0.28
0.23
0.20
0.12
0.12
0.10
0.09
0.09
0.08
0.07
0.06
0.06
0.05
0.04
0.04
0.03
0.03
0.03
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.02
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.01
0.00
0.00
0.00
0.00
0.00
0.00
0.00
0.00
0.00
0.00
0.00

Compiled by TwistedFans Staff

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