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Claims Pats had Nothing to Do with Victory; Proclaims Adam Vinatieri the Anti-Christ
St. Louis Rams Quarterback Kurt Warner said in a press conference Monday that after Sundays loss to the Patriots, he just doesn't feel as if Jesus is watching over him any more.
Warner, who spent years as a stockboy before becoming an NFL QB, Super Bowl MVP and Chunky Soup Spokesman, said that "Although, I always felt that God was with me, guiding me through my struggles and helping me achieve my dreams, I just didn't feel his presence on Sunday. I believe God is truly dead."
Warner stunned reporters when, as he ended the press conference, he grabbed the microphone, pointed toward the heavens and screamed, "Thanks a lot, Jesus!"
Later that day, Jesus issued a statement in response to Warner's attacks: "I ain't dead, you dumb ass -- Sunday's my day off."
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