a

TwistedFans
SPORTS PARODY

Newsletter

Archive

About Us Contact Info Feedback Injury Pool

Tues, Aug 21, 2001

  New Ranger Lindros Suffers Concussion at Press Conference

.
Just when the Rangers thought they were getting a dominant player to revitalize their team, it all came crumbling down.

by Butch Rogaine

     During a press conference to announce his signing with the team, center Eric Lindros suffered a concussion, once again putting his career in jeopardy.

Even the center's helmet couldn't protect his egg shell skull from the one ounce boom microphone.

     The injury occurred after Lindros placed his John Hancock on a new multi-million dollar contract and began putting on his new jersey. As his head popped through the shirt, a boom microphone being held above him lightly tapped the former Philadelphia Flyer, knocking him into a daze. The mike, which was covered with a soft foam “sock” and weighed about an ounce, sent Lindros sprawling onto the ground.

     His father/agent Carl immediately began pulling Lindros up to his feet and sheepishly grinning at Rangers GM Glen Sather. “Uh, he’s OK. Give me his first check ... now!!” exclaimed the older Lindros.

     The center’s father then proceeded to try to blow on his head and, in his own words to Eric,  “kiss the boo boo away.” Lindros, who was wearing a helmet at the conference, began mock skating around the stage at Madison Square Garden before dropping to the ground ... and onto his head. Sather calmly walked away and was overheard talking on his cell phone and booking a round of golf at the nearby Westchester Country Club. Losing Lindros could mean that the Rangers, who were already going to suck with the center on their roster, will now really, really suck.


Butch Rogaine
was dropped one too many times on his head as a baby.
Email this story to a friend Back To Top

Issue #13

Boras Runs Over Crowd With Humvee


We’ve Got Your Sports Movies Right Here!!
Vegas Franchise Prepares to Enter NFL in 2002


Snyder Psyches Up Skins for Multiple "NFL Blitz 2001" Super Bowl Runs


X-Games Park Gold Medallist Crisman DQ'd after Posing Nude in Playgirl

TwistedFans.com


Home | Subscribe | Contact Us | Archive | Feedback | Privacy Policy
Copyright © 2001 TwistedFans, LLC, ARRAWR.
aa

asd