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New Cardinals third baseman Scott Rolen is a happier man these days, due mostly in part to the fact he is no longer under the scrutiny of Philadelphia fans and press.
"Here, I feel like I can be Scott," says a beaming Rolen, whose physical appearance has changed drastically since the trade. Sporting a handlebar mustache and a tight pair of pants borrowed from a bat boy, Rolen finally seems to be at home. The St. Louis front office is hoping that the relaxed atmosphere will cause Rolen's offensive play to improve.
Although he has had little success thus far as a Cardinal, Rolen has become a fan favorite, drinking beers with older men after each game, while wearing his trademark jersey tied at the midriff. "I want to show off my pierced belly button," he explains when asked about his strange fashion sense.
He has also become a force in the marketing department, making suggestions to improve the way fans perceive the Cardinals organization. For example, in lieu of Budweiser's trademark Clydesdales, Rolen has suggested employing ponies. In addition, changes and suggestions already being implemented include the placement of umbrellas in all beer cups sold at Busch Stadium, and the announcement of a "Bobble Crotch Scott Rolen Night" once the school year begins.
Larry Bowa, Rolen's manager with the Phillies, strangely had no comment when asked what he though of his former player finally being allowed to bloom away from Philadelphia.
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