TwistedFans™ The World's Funniest Athletic Supporters™
July 31, 2001
Christ to Athletes: "I’m Not Helping You Guys Anymore!"
Jesus Christ announced today that he has better things to do than help athletes complete basic tasks such as catching passes and slamdunking basketballs. In a written statement, Christ indicated that he must devote all his energies to fighting the Devil who has gotten "bigger and stronger" in recent years.
Tyson Scores Comeback Sex-Assault Victory
"Iron" Mike Tyson reportedly scored a comeback victory over an unidentified woman at his training house July 16th. Craftily dodging her verbal rejections to his advances, Tyson eventually suppressed his adversary with a hard body blow to the anus. "I am the king of all women, no woman can beat me," Tyson stated confidently at his arraignment last Thursday. Tyson then blubbered uncontrollably as he pounded the living shit out of a nearby helpless camerawoman.
Poll Results
In last week's poll, an equal number of TF readers selected Becky and Lauren while Grandmama Larry Johnson came in a close second.
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