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Tuesday, December 31, 2002

Willy's Wonderful Pre-Season Predictions: On the Mark

AFC East: so exactly right it's scary (just substitute Chad for Vinny )
AFC North: Bengals pick aside, and was close to being right about the Browns had Tim Couch not broken his leg and finished the game, I was right about the Steelers. Ravens surprised everyone this year so that's not fair.
AFC South: Just switched the Colts and the Texans.
AFC West: I got the records pretty much correct except for the one who won the division.

NFC East: Cowboys completely wrong. But had they been healthy woulda been a different story. Also wrongly predicted Philly down year.
NFC North: I like the fact that I was the only one to not pick the Bears to make the postseason. Vikings I completely fucked up. Packers, was right.
NFC South: Pretty much correct. This is frighteningly accurate: "Saints. 9-7. Oooh, the Saints will come close to making the playoffs this year. And it will be fun to watch Jim Haslett blow a gasket on the final day of the season. Still though.No Ricky? no problem." I picked the Falcons but didn't get the Bucks right.
NFC West: I was the only one to not pick the Rams to win the division. Niners right.

Monday, December 30, 2002

Two good stories from last night's NBA games. I love what Garnett says about Marbury.
The NBA can be a place where athletes compete at the highest level, and where the torch is passed with grace and dignity. That was the case in Orlando Monday night, where Michael Jordan turned in 21 points, nine assists and eight rebounds for the Washington Wizards, but was upstaged by 32 points from the Magic's Tracy McGrady, who led his team to a 112-95 victory. After the game, Mr. McGrady revealed that His Airness had passed along a message in inimitable style. We'll let Jerry Brewer of the Orlando Sentinel explain. "Tracy McGrady cradled the shoes in his left arm and grinned. He was no longer an NBA prodigy, just a proud, young fellow holding onto something precious," he writes. "Michael Jordan had taken off his gray and white Nike shoes and handed them to the Orlando Magic star with a message scribbled on the side. Enjoyed the challenge. Good luck and stay healthy -- Michael Jordan. 'I might look at these shoes every day before I go out of the house,' McGrady said."

Then there was Minneapolis, where athletes competed at the highest level, but grace and dignity got shown the door before the reporters hit the locker room. Kevin Garnett had 22 points and 14 rebounds as the Timberwolves beat the Suns on Monday night, 104-98, despite 38 points from Suns' rookie Amare Stoudemire. But the performance that had everyone buzzing was turned in after the game by the Suns' Stephon Marbury, Mr. Garnett's former teammate. Who's also, apparently, Mr. Garnett's former friend. When asked to compare Stoudemire to Garnett at the same age, Marbury chose the low road: "It's not even close. [Kevin] doesn't even compare to Amare. Two different people. It's like Michael Jordan and Mario Elie." Ouch. Not surprisingly, a crowd of reporters soon appeared to watch Mr. Garnett watch a videotape of Marbury's comments. And Garnett's reaction? Steve Aschburner of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune was there. Just imagine this as one of those taped confessionals from MTV's "The Real World": "[T]his ain't even about the young fella. This is about Steph being jealous again. ... our paths split and I [dealt] with it, but in the back of his mind, I'm still on his mind. Of all the shit he's got to worry about, I'm on his mind. ... This is Steph being jealous. This is Steph. ... What is this going to gain? He want some more air time on ESPN or something? ... Since he left, I've been in the playoffs. Shit speaks for itself. I guess he wants to be me. ... Anyone who's followed Steph's career, ever since he left Minnesota, he's been in envy of -- for whatever reason -- Kevin Garnett. It's kind of funny. Out of all the things -- three kids, big family, a wife, bills -- but I'm on his mind every day. It's kind of flattering. It's like a girl. I'm on his mind like a girl." Crazy kids! Next episode is Feb. 23.

PRIMED FOR THE ROSE BOWL: Before they face off in the Rose Bowl on New Year's Day, Oklahoma and Washington State "meat" today in the traditional Lawry's Beef Bowl at "The Prime Rib" restaurant in Los Angeles. Since 1956, 15,720 players and coaches have inhaled more than 62,000 pounds of roasted prime rib. The total amount of one pound steaks are counted and whichever team eats the most wins. Last year, Nebraska ate 441 pounds to Miami's 428 pounds. The team that has eaten the most prime rib has won 33 times in the last 46 years.

Friday, December 27, 2002

Open (& Insane) Letter to Win a Date with Anna KournikovaAnna Kournikova

Dearest Anna,

You beautiful woman, I watch you at U.S. Open doubles match and I know you love me. Beautiful woman, I love you in my mind with my eyes close, you so sexy. That was me who stare you down, and you stare at me, at mixed doubles match. You love me, I love you. We look at each other 7 times.

Perhaps I remind you of crazy father. This good for me, you have Electra Complex. You stare at me 7 times. I left 14 messages for you at official Anna Kournikova Lycos web site, two for every stare. Yes...I know you want to make babies with me, Anna.

I've been indicted on numerous crimes by International Criminal Tribunal for the former Soviet Union. This make me good man for you. I swear I will kill that doubles partner of yours. He no good for you. I kill him with my bare hands.

I will swear I make love to you, seventeen times in row. Please e-mail me, I take you out to dinner. We make little Russian Federation babies for the future of worldkind, Russia and world. Let your sexy body wrap around me.


Mr. Stonislav Bukvic

Via How Appealing
Add a judicial wing to the Baseball Hall of Fame? That's what New York Times sports columnist George Vecsey suggests in this essay published today. Vecsey overlooks the fact that Judge Kevin M. McCarthy of the San Francisco Superior Court somehow managed to forget home run king Roger Maris in the first published version of his recent decision announcing the fate of a certain historic home run ball hit by Barry Bonds, as I reported in a post you can access here.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

All Warren Sapp wanted for Christmas was home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, but what he got was Flowers (Lee) and a gift certificate for Office Depot (Paper Champions).....

-from Shamus the Prognosticator

Monday, December 23, 2002

Page 2 Highlights: Why Ralph Wiley is a great writer. Win a Date with Anna. The List: NFLs most overpaid.

A telling example of this year's NFL craziness from

Cleveland Browns -- Can clinch playoff spot:
1) Win AND Denver win AND N.Y. Jets win
2) Win AND Kansas City loss or tie AND N.Y. Jets win
3) Win AND Denver win AND Miami win or tie
4) Win AND Kansas City loss or tie AND Miami win or tie
5) Tie AND N.Y. Jets loss or tie AND New England loss or tie AND Denver loss or tie AND San Diego loss or tie AND Kansas City loss
6) New England loss AND N.Y. Jets loss AND Baltimore loss or tie AND Denver loss AND San Diego loss AND Kansas City loss
Note: There are other scenarios in which Cleveland can clinch a playoff berth if it is determined that after this week's games they will own the strength of victory tiebreaker over the teams they are tied with.

Thursday, December 19, 2002

Stanton, meeting the media for the first time as a Met, was asked if he would plunk Roger Clemens if Mike Piazza asked. "I'd drill him," Stanton said.

Monday, December 02, 2002

In the wonderful modern world of NFL parity (ie, evenly dispersed competitiveness), it's nice to see that two teams remind us of the good old days of the dominating and the dominated. The Cincinati Bengals, and the Arizona Cardinals, remind us of a simpler time. Cincy and Arizona, I hope you never change : )

Here's to losers!!!

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