Mets Still Plot Revenge Against
Clemens For Subway Series II



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Issue #53

     The New York Mets, stinging from their humiliating inability to strike fear into the Yankees' Roger Clemens during the first Subway Series of the season, are plotting to cause the pitcher physical harm.

     "Rey're rembarrassed rat Rawn Restes rouldn't reven rhit Roger rin ris rass," says Bobby Valentine's dog, Scooby. According to the Great Dane, the Mets have an intricate plan to hurt Clemens, even though the pitcher will never come to bat when the teams play under AL rules at Yankee Stadium.

     In order to atone for his horrible attempt at beaning Clemens, pitcher Shaw Estes will act as a spy during Clemens' start, sitting in the Mets dugout and keeping track of the Rocket's location on the Yankees bench when the Yanks come to bat.

     Estes will brief infiielders Roberto Alomar and Rey Ordonez on Clemens' position before they take the field. Then, at a point in the game where the Mets will be either comfortably ahead or completely behind, Alomar and Ordonez will look for a signal from Valentine  As soon as the manager flashes an unknown sign, the infielders will be on orders to take any ground balls they field and throw them into the Yankees dugout and at Clemens.

     "Rith Roger ritting ron rhe rench, rhere's ro ray rat Rey Rordonez ran row rhe rall rehind ris rass," explained Scooby, before sniffing this reporter's crotch.

Luscious Rosenbaum
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