The staff of TwistedFans.com recently applied for and received birth certificates from the Dominican Republic, which confirm that its members are 11 years old and thus eligible to participate in Little League play. The certificates come at an opportune time for TF staffers, who had been illegally working and living under assumed names in the N.Y. Tri-State area for the fruitless purpose of cashing in on the Internet Boom.
Having finally come clean with their age and identities, the players successfully petitioned the International Little League (I.L.L.) to participate in next year's Little League World Series, and are expected to make a serious run at the 2002 Championship. The birth certificates, which were certified by the I.L.L., indicate that the players were all born in August 1990 in the small town of Moca (interestingly, also Danny Almonte's hometown). Moca is a small farming town about 90 miles north of the congested capital of Santo Domingo. Those who doubt the Dotcom Bombers ages should seek out the players' proud parents (coincidently, new silent partners of TwistedFans.com), who will gladly point to grainy baby pictures of their sons, along with photocopies of each staff member's birth certificate.
The team does not take kindly to skeptics. "I don't know why everyone in the States is lying and saying we were born in America,” says Pablo "Paul" Rojas, the team's six-foot, two-inch, 235 pound number one starter (and former network administrator). “They must envy our ability and selfishly seek to take away the enjoyment we get from playing Little League."
How do the Dotcom Bombers stack up against the Baby Bombers? “They’re gonna be tough,” said one Staten Island LL coach.
Rounding out the squad is catcher Roberto Kelly, Pitcher Daniel "Danny Boy" Cajones, SS Kelvim "Kevin" Escobar, and 3B Rico "Rich" Suave.
Little League officials could not be reached for comment.
Crash says "Beware of the Dotcom Bombers, childhood has never been so happy!!" |
|
