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KS: How are you feeling?
BB: Awesome, better than ever before.
KS: So what has come over, or should I say "out of," you that has changed your attitude and the way that you deal with your teammates and the media.
BB: That's actually a funny story, may I?
KS: Of course!
 BB: I was sitting in my reclining massage chair near my lockers having my feet rubbed by my PR guy, Steve Hoskins, when the bat boy came in. I yelled at him to come have my jock laundered, but instead of the usual "Yes Master Bonds", he yelled at me to "pry the stick from up my ass."
KS: How did you react?
BB: Well, I'm used to this type of treatment from the press, but not from the staff. I was mortified, I turned over and asked Steve to check my backside, I couldn't play with some hideous appendage.
KS: I think he meant that you always act like your better than everyone.
BB: Oh... anyway after a thorough inspection of my anus Steve mentioned that I should schedule an appointment with an urologist.
KS: Long story short.
BB: The urologist removed an 18 inch black probe from my anus. I think aliens may have implanted it there. I saw it happened to that kid Cartman on South Park.
KS: Is that why you pointed to the sky after your last homer?
 BB: That's usually just a special personal moment that I take, but last time I told the aliens to leave me alone. Don't mess with Barry.
KS: Well said.
BB: Thank you.
KS: Do you mind if we try some word association?
BB: Shoot.
KS: Playoffs?
BB: Home Field Advantage: which means more puppies in McCovey Cove. In fact, I just told Owner James Steinacker that I want them out there for every game, not just on Sundays.
 KS: Jeff Kent?
BB: Savior: I just spent this afternoon telling Jeff (Kent) how much he meant to our team, and that if it wasn't for him, the Giants wouldn't be where we are now. I wouldn't be where I am now. Then I gave him a hug and a pat on his butt.
KS: The Media?
BB: Open Door Policy: I love talking to them, in fact, I intend to have them join me for dinner every night for the rest of the season. More gravy?
KS: No thanks. Barbara Streisand?
BB: Idol.
KS: 71?
BB: Historic.
K-Cebo Satashi thanks Barry for the wonderful dinner he prepared, but I'm not that kind of girl. |
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