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If Shaq was a a Security Guard at LAX, he'd frisk Serena Williams for carrying concealed weapons.
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We all know that Shaq is obsessed with law enforcement and that he hopes to be a sheriff after retiring from basketball, so TwistedFans recently polled its readers about other work that Shaq might want to pursue.
What if Shaq was...
~ a District Attorney, he'd prosecute Chris Webber for impersonating a power forward.
~ an INS Agent, he'd deport Vlade Divac for violating the Anti-Flopping Treaty.
~ a Meter Maid, he'd give Rick Adelman a ticket for an expired meter. Your time is up. 
~ an FAA Investigator, he'd cite Kobe for flying without a license.
~ a Fashion Cop, he'd turn himself in for wearing Stockton. Shorts.
~ an Inspector from Standards & Measures, he'd make 320 pounds a standard unit of measurement known as a Barkley. 
~ a Utah State Trooper, he'd hang out with Olden Polynice.
~ a Prison Guard, he'd set up dates for Scott Pollard; because Shaq already made him his bitch.
~ an LAPD Police Officer, he'd beat the shit out of Kings!
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