ATLANTA, GA – The Atlanta Braves organization today announced that they will suspend rookie pitcher Tim Spooneybarger for the rest of the spring training season and dock him 2 weeks pay. While the official reason is that the allegedly 22 year old San Diego native lied and is in fact a thirty year old Japanese player, insiders tell TF that he is actually being punished for his role in returning a set of stolen gloves to outfielder Chipper Jones.
"They weren't really stolen," explains one Braves insider. "The team just didn't want Chipper to practice any fielding this spring, so they had someone take his gloves. Let's face it, he sucks at fielding and he seems to get worse the more he works on it. Spooneybarger had no business giving them back."
According to the anonymous source, whose name is Greg Maddux, team officials sent a group of thieves to break into the clubhouse and take all of Jones' gloves. The naive rookie stumbled upon them and immediately returned them to Jones. "He was in the wrong place at the wrong time," explains Maddux
"I'm sorry I let the team down," sighed Tim Spooneybarger after learning of the team's actions in a closed door meeting with GM John Schuerholz and manager Bobby Cox.
Spooneybarger secretly plans to make amends to the team and steal Chipper's gloves as often as possible.
Butch Rogaine will provide details and a link to eBay for purchase of the SpooneyBarger "Chipper Jones Barely Used Glove Collection" later this spring.
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