Haslett & Fisher Dance a Naked Jig Now That They've Missed the Playoffs
Check out how your favorite team did and how SI, ESPN and TwistedFans early season prognostications stacked up in the final 2001 NFL STANDINGS.
NutraSweet Outbids All Other Companies for Right to Sponsor 2003 Sugar Bowl
NutraSweet, the company adored by fat people and diabetics alike, successfully bid $100 million to sponsor the next Sugar Bowl. In an attempt to spread public awareness of sugar substitutes, the corporation plans to arrange for next year's Bowl game to be called the Aspartamine Sugar Bowl.
"We feel that anything that makes the public realize there are alternatives to sugar, is worthwhile," said NutraSweet's CEO.
Aspartamine is the key ingredient in most non-sugar sweeteners, and has been linked to several mass cult suicides.
Hasbro To Honor Wilt Chamberlain with Anatomically Correct Action Figure
Hasbro, the maker of G.I. Joe, has announced plans for a special edition of action figures honoring the late great Chamberlain.
The 12" tall figures will be anatomically correct and measure 12 inches by 12 inches. A comic book, entitled "The Adventures of Wilt and His Willy" will accompany each figure.
"We had a choice of several different players, including Magic Johnson, to choose from," noted Hasbro spokesman Jane Flint. "But Wilt is just as big as it gets."
