Issue #8

Profiles In Excellence: K-Cebo Satashi

July 10, 2001


A Tangled Web of Intrigue


BrooklynK-Cebo Satashi's parents, Sean and Moira Flannery, found him floating down the Hudson River in a wicker basket. He was twenty years old at the time and hung over from a party thrown at his Rutgers College dorm room.

      Disowned by his family, K-Cebo (then known as 'Rory') and some friends started a Monkees cover band named the Honkees. Unfortunately, the project failed when audiences caught onto the fact that the Honkees did not play their own instruments and lip synced all their songs using a Monkees backing track.

      K-Cebo got his 'stage name' at the Grime Lite, a Hoboken club where he served as DJ-in-residence. Unfortunately, he was cursed with weak, short fingers and could not muster the strength to spin a turntable back and forth for prolonged periods of time.

      Nevertheless, K-Cebo turned life's lemons into lemonade when he took several of his groupies out of club life and became a pimp. Briefly known as "Rubber Daddy K," Satashi met failure when it turned out that his groupies were in fact transvestites.

      He dragged his boots out of these failures and applied to Cardozo Law School, which was filled with women resembling transvestites. It was during this period that he met and married female jockey Whinnie Wilder in a bizarre Zoroastrian ceremony held at Belmont Park.

      K-Cebo graduated law school and is waiting for that big break that will give him an excuse to find a new wife. Maybe is it.

K-Cebo Satashi ([email protected]) has us all trapped in this sticky web.

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