Williams Sisters' Powers Activate

Willy P. Archive


FLUSHING MEADOWS, NY  In their opening doubles match in the 2002 U.S. Open, partners Serena and Venus Williams stunned the Court 12 crowd by transmogrifying into a massive, otherworldly monster and flaming ball-striking object, respectively.

The Williams sisters moments before their transformation
Serena, with father Richard Williams in palm, smacks a forehand with
sister Venus over the net to helpless opponents.

     After dropping the first two games of the first set, the doubles partners huddled, whispered something to each other and then joined hands high in the air. "Shape of...behemoth purplish ogre!" screamed
Serena. "Form of...large fiery kayak paddle!" yelled her sister Venus. 

     The skies then darkened as the sisters morphed into their respective avatars, leaving their 1st round opponents Samantha Reeves and Barbara Schwartz crying and running for shelter. Line judge Judy Palance eventually coaxed the terrified girls with a horse tranquilizer back on the court to finish
the match. The sisters won 6-2, 6-0 in a record-setting 2 minutes 38 seconds.

     "That's one of the most awesome displays of tennis I've seen in a long time," said ESPN's commentator Pam Shriver. "And that was even
without the 50-foot Nubian tribeswoman and giant ice Hyper Hammer tennis racket."

     "I fully expected that to happen," said father Richard Williams unabashedly. "That's my girls you're talking about."

     Commentator John McEnroe liked the display but was hesitant to give the girls the title. "We're going to have to see a much better plan-of-attack from the Williams sisters if they're going to get past partners Amelie Mauresmo and Maja Matevzic...A 100-foot Playboy model and a giant mirror, maybe."

     When interviewed after the match the Williams sisters, back in human form, accepted their win graciously. "Well...you know...we go out there and we play...and whatever happens, happens," said Venus coyly. "All of the other girls...um....yeah, well...they have a chance, sure..." added Serena.

     The sisters said they are always more than willing to use their powers as doubles partners, and also during each other's singles matches on the sidelines. But....what if they are to face each other in the singles' final again?

     Said father Richard Williams: "That's when Richard Williams takes form of... get the f*** outta here."

Willy P. Ondabich
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