TwistedFans Sports Parody, Satire & Humor

This Blog Begins on Opening Day.

I agree with the Red Sox’s philosophy that it makes more sense to try to create an overall solid bullpen rather than just giving one guy like Heathcliff Slocumb the magic title “Closer” and then only using him in extremely specific situations. Seriously, how many times have you seen a team bring in their 9th best pitcher to get out of a 7th-inning bases-loaded jam then use their supposed fireman to get the bottom of the order out in the ninth with a three-run lead? That being said, however, it probably doesn’t help silence any of the Conventional Wisdom nay-sayers when that bullpen gives up five runs in the bottom of the ninth to lose to the Devil Rays.
Boy, it's a good thing that Cablevision and YES made that last-minute deal so that my Yankees-loving dad was able to see Derek Jeter dislocate his left shoulder in a collision at third base. Don't worry, though, Jeter fans — Derek uses his right hand to grab supermodels' asses at Nobu, so this won't affect him too much.
Great debuts today: Jim Thome gettinng an RBI double on the first pitch he saw as a Phillie; Ray Durham homering in his first Giant AB; Hideki Matsui getting an RBI in his first American AB. Not-so-great debut: Tom Glavine getting torched by the Cubs in his first Mets start (though this was all but certain once I paid $22 for him in my fantasy auction yesterday).
Home teams were a depressing 4-8 today (added to the Angels' loss yesterday), a pretty sad Opening Day. Including home blowouts against the Reds (10-1 in their brand-new ballpark), Diamondbacks (8-0), Blue Jays (8-4 after 4 late runs), and especially the Mets (15-2).

Posted by Ken at 6:36:55 PM