The Men's Room: unpolite society since 2001

February 27, 2004

The Sanctity of Holy Matrimony
How important is marriage to America? Let's check Craig's List to find out!
Truly, there is no more sacred institution in American life than marriage. It is about two people who love and cherish each other … something those homos will never understand.
Sadly, I don't think Bush is smart enough to get the joke.

Read the entire article on

[On a side note, is there a more consistent source for funny blog ideas than craig's list?]

KJ says check this out: If Linda Gail Carter is a man, then she is married to Constance Gonzales, who would like a divorce -- and a suitable division of proceeds. But if Carter is a woman, the couple's same-sex Texas union is void. Family Court Judge Lisa Ann Millard ordered genetic testing to determine Carter's gender. The judge admitted confusion because Carter, born James Howard Murphy, "is 6-foot-4, weighs 275 pounds and purportedly has male genitals."

Posted by Crash | | comment

Rachel Bilson from The O.C.
Cruel Summer

Posted by kj | | comment

February 26, 2004

Judging Jesus
Ok, Ok, I haven't actually seen The Passion of The Christ, but I hear the book is a lot better.

Posted by Crash | | comment

February 25, 2004

Jayson Williams
New York Daily News: Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it also can be the cruelest. Just ask Jayson Williams and his wife.

On, Tanya Williams gives her family's side of the story, complete with soft, fuzzy pictures.

On - spelled without a "y" - Williams is given a sarcastic once-over.

2 years ago this month: Broadway Producer Readies Musical About Jayson Williams

  • Jayson Williams on Trial

  • Posted by kj | | comment

    Hometown Hotties Winner Announced
    • Christina DaRe
    • Finalists

      Posted by kj | | comment

      Woman Says 'I Don't' At NBA Game
      At this weekend's Indiana Pacers-Washington Wizards game, a woman's reaction to a man's marriage proposal stunned an expectant crowd. The man appeared from the bank mascot's costume, grabbed a microphone and then got down on one knee. As he began to speak to the woman, she paused and grabbed her face in shock. Then, as the crowd expected the man to pop question, the woman turned away from the man, and sprinted full speed across the basketball court. But the stunt surprised the groaning crowd as a message saying, "She said No!" appeared on the arena's scoreboard.

      Posted by kj | | comment

      February 19, 2004

      Fun with Cybering on AOL Instant Messanger
      Maybe I'm just immature, but Prank IM's make me laugh. Here's a few great ones....

      [This was sent to me in an email, I'm not sure who the original author is, so if you know post it in the messages. ]


      bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
      BritneySpears14: Aight.
      bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
      BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
      bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
      BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
      bloodninja: Me too baby.
      BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
      bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
      BritneySpears14: Hey...
      bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
      BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
      bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
      BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
      bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
      bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
      BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
      bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
      bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
      bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
      bloodninja: Baby?


      bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
      j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
      bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
      j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
      j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
      bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
      j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
      j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
      bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
      j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
      bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
      j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
      bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
      bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
      j_gurli3: thats it.
      bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
      bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.


      BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
      eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
      BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
      eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
      BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
      BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
      eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
      BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
      eminemBNJA: Oh ****
      BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
      eminemBNJA: Oh ****
      eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

      Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
      Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
      Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
      Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
      Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
      Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
      Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
      Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
      Sarah19fca: you like that?
      Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
      Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
      Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
      Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
      Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
      Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
      Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
      Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
      Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
      Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
      Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
      Sarah19fca: /ignore
      Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
      Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.


      Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
      DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody
      DirtyKate: Who are you?
      Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
      Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
      DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
      Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
      DirtyKate: Haha! OK
      DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
      Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
      DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
      Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
      DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
      DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
      Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
      DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
      Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
      Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
      DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
      Bloodninja: How did you know?
      Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
      Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
      DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
      Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
      DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
      Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
      DirtyKate: What the ****?
      DirtyKate: You perverted piece of ****
      DirtyKate: ****


      Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
      MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
      Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
      MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
      Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
      Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
      MommyMelissa: is that it?
      Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
      Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
      MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
      Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
      Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
      MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
      Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
      Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this **** is HOT.
      MommyMelissa: ...
      Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
      MommyMelissa: What the **** is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
      Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
      MommyMelissa: whatever

      sweet17: Hi
      bloodninja: hello
      bloodninja: who is this?
      sweet17: just a someone?
      bloodninja: A someone I know?
      sweet17: nope
      bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
      sweet17: well sorrrrrry
      sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
      bloodninja: why?
      sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
      bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
      sweet17: yes?
      bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
      sweet17: paranoid?
      bloodninja: yes
      sweet17: of what?
      sweet17: me?
      bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
      sweet17: LOL
      bloodninja: Don't ******* laugh at me!
      bloodninja: This **** is serious!
      sweet17: What are you hiding from?
      bloodninja: The cops.
      sweet17: gimme a ******* break
      bloodninja: I'm serious.
      sweet17: I don't get it
      bloodninja: The cops are after me.
      sweet17: For what?
      bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
      sweet17: For???
      bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
      bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
      bloodninja: Hello?
      sweet17: You are ******* sick.
      bloodninja: Send me your picture.
      sweet17: why?
      bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
      sweet17: One of what?
      bloodninja: The cops.
      sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
      bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
      sweet17: hold on
      bloodninja: Hurry up.
      bloodninja: Are you there?
      bloodninja: **** you, cop!
      sweet17: Hey sorry
      sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
      bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
      bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
      bloodninja: Weren't you!?
      sweet17: thats not it
      bloodninja: Then what?
      sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
      bloodninja: Most cops aren't
      sweet17: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU ********!
      bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
      sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
      bloodninja: Just send it through here.
      sweet17: alright *PIC*
      sweet17: Did you get it?
      bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
      sweet17: That was me back in may
      sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
      bloodninja: I hope so
      sweet17: what?!?
      sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
      bloodninja: Did it?
      sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
      bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
      sweet17: yes
      bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
      sweet17: kks
      bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
      sweet17: this isn't you.
      bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
      sweet17: You don't look like that.
      bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
      sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
      bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
      bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
      sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
      bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
      bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
      sweet17: Go **** yourself
      bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
      bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
      sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
      sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
      sweet17: you hurt me.
      bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
      sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
      bloodninja: Why would I do that?
      sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
      bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
      sweet17: **** YOU!!!
      bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
      sweet17: You're a ******* *******!
      sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
      sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
      bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
      sweet17: No you aren't
      bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
      bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
      sweet17: I'm done with you
      bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
      sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
      bloodninja: Wait a sec
      bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
      bloodninja: Wanna start over?
      sweet17: No
      bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
      sweet17: You'll what?
      bloodninja: You heard me.
      bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
      sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
      bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
      sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
      bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
      bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
      sweet17: Like what?
      bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
      sweet17: I don't know
      bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
      sweet17: I'm afraid to
      bloodninja: Why?
      sweet17: cause
      bloodninja: cause why?
      sweet17: well lets see
      sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
      sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
      bloodninja: Nope
      sweet17: well its strange to me
      bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
      sweet17: I didn't say that
      bloodninja: So is that a yes?
      sweet17: I guess so.
      bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
      bloodninja: Are you willing?
      sweet17: What do you need me to do?
      bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
      sweet17: ???
      bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
      bloodninja: ok?
      bloodninja: Hello?
      sweet17: You can't be serious
      bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
      bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
      sweet17: this is retarded
      bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
      sweet17: Yes I want it.
      bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
      sweet17: sure
      bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
      bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
      bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
      bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
      bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
      sweet17: mmmm yeah
      bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
      sweet17: Har
      bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
      bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
      sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
      bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
      bloodninja: I softly suck on your **** bringing it in and out of my mouth.
      bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
      bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
      sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
      bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I **** harder
      bloodninja: going limp
      sweet17: HARRRRRRR
      bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
      bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
      bloodninja: going limp
      sweet17: this is stupid
      bloodninja: ...still limp
      bloodninja: Do it!
      sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
      bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your *******.
      bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
      bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
      sweet17: WTF?!?!?
      bloodninja: They stink really bad.
      sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
      bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
      bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
      bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
      sweet17: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
      bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
      bloodninja: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
      bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
      sweet17: **** YOU *******!!
      bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
      bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
      bloodninja: ...going limp again.
      bloodninja: Hello?
      bloodninja: Say it!
      bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!1
      On a side note, I expect someone to compile these into a book (similiar to the Jerky Boys phone prank tapes) by christmas.

      Posted by Crash | | comment

      February 16, 2004

      NBA All Star 2004
      Anyone see Barkley doing the Beyonce dance during halftime? Regardless, this definitely was not the angle that they were showing on TNT of Beyonce's performance. As Kenny Smith said Jay-Z you are one lucky man.

      Singer Beyonce performs her song 'Crazy In Love' at halftime during the 2004 NBA All-Star Game at the Staples Center in Los Angeles February 15, 2004. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson
      Singer Beyonce performs her song 'Crazy In Love' at halftime during the 2004 NBA All-Star Game at the Staples Center in Los Angeles February 15, 2004. REUTERS/Mike Blake
      Singer Beyonce Knowles performs during halftime of the NBA All-Star game Sunday, Feb. 15, 2004, in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

      Where the hell were these photogs standing?

      Posted by kj | | comment

      February 15, 2004

      Rumor Mill: Nuggets & Kobe
      Denver Post: The Denver Nuggets would be interested in pursuing prospective free agent Kobe Bryant this summer, if the Los Angeles Lakers star is acquitted in his sexual assault trial.

      Anonymous source: If convicted and required to undergo house arrest in Colorado, the Nuggets would also hope to sign Kobe on a home games only basis.

      Posted by kj | | comment

      February 13, 2004

      Another grueling 2 hour day
      So not that I condone this sort of thing, but here's the typical Friday schedule for uh, a friend of mine....
      TIME Activity
      9:30 roll into work a half hour late
      9:30 - 10:00 Grab breakfast in the cafeteria
      10:00 - 10:30 Meet with DBA about new product
      10:30 - 11:00 Actual work
      11:00 - 12:30 Design dream house using msft paint
      12:30 - 1:00 Grab lunch in cafeteria
      1:00 - 1:30 Get haircut
      1:30-1:45 Back to work on dream house design!
      1:45-2:45 Workout at company gym
      2:45-3:00 Try to post a blog entry
      3:00-4:00 Actual Work
      4:00-5:00 Meeting concerning new software
      5:00 Call it a day

      It's amazing I my friend has any time to post blog entries at all....

      Posted by Crash | | comment

      Paris Hilton sex vid
      NY Post:
      JUST when everyone's favorite airy heiress Paris Hilton thought that little sex video scandal was behind her, it's come back with a vengeance. While the world saw only a grainy four-minute clip of the raunchy romp between Hilton and Rick Solomon a few months back, the sexstravaganza hit the Internet yesterday in its full-length glory. The 37-minute video - downloadable for $50 - features not only the shadowy green night-vision performance that's become so infamous, but also well-lighted, full-color scenes that prove Hilton is the hardest working woman in show business. Our favorite bit is a bathroom conversation as Paris - in bra, panties, and thigh-high, stiletto-heeled boots - is preparing for an evening on the town. "Are you gonna make me go to some stupid club?" asks Solomon. "Yes," Paris giggles. "It's Wednesday - it's the Standard." Her frustrated boy-toy replies, "We can't just stay in and you [bleep] my [bleep]?" Paris yelps "Eww!" and warns Solomon, "Don't talk to me like an animal!" Her protest doesn't last long.
      Anyone got $50?

      Posted by Crash | | comment

      February 11, 2004

      Best of SI 2004 (plus ANNA K.)
      Swimsuit on Spike TV: Catch the Sports Illustrated 2004 Swimsuit special only on Spike TV. Premieres Wednesday, Feb. 11 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.
      • Veronica

      • Cover Image

      • Angela

      • Angela II

      • Carolyn

      • Carolyn II

      • Marisa

      • Anna K.

      Posted by kj | | comment

      On second thought
      Makes you wish you studied harder for the SAT, doesn't it? Then again do you really want to see naked Harvard undergrads?

      Posted by kj | | comment

      February 10, 2004

      Mr. Poon give us this wonderful site to help us maximize our Alcohol per calorie intake: Beer Calories, Alcohol, and Carbohydrate Content.

      Posted by kj | | comment

      February 8, 2004

      Men who want the right to wear a skirt
      In what future generations may look back on as the birth of the Male Unbifurcated Garment movement, some 100 men in skirts marched from the Guggenheim Museum to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to proclaim their rights to women's clothing.

      "We're not transvestites, homosexuals or cross-dressers," said one marcher, David Johnson. "We don't want you to call us Jean or Sally."

      Posted by kj | | comment

      February 6, 2004

      Who say's 2 heads are better than one?

      Go here to see more pics

      Posted by Crash | | comment

      February 4, 2004

      Willie Williams Update
      You may remember Willie Williams from our recruiting stories, here's one more....

      Three separate sworn complaints were filed against Williams after his recruiting visit to Gainesville last weekend.

      The first was for battery on Saturday night on the second floor of the Reitz Union. According to a University of Florida Police Department report, Williams grabbed a female student from the front against her will while she was walking to the stairs with her boyfriend.

      The second incident occurred at 2:30 on Sunday morning at the Royal Blue Night Club. Akeem Thompson of Gainesville told the Gainesville Police Dept. that Williams "started hitting him with his fist for no apparent reason."

      Two hours later, according to the UPD, Williams discharged three fire extinguishers at the UF Hilton Conference Center where the recruits stayed during their visits.

      Read the full article here

      Posted by Crash | | comment

      February 2, 2004

      As per the State Department Memo
      All websites must only use Times New Roman 14. Apparently, the new font "takes up almost exactly the same area on the page as Courier New 12, while offering a crisper, cleaner, more modern look," it said, adding that after February 1 "only Times New Roman 14 will be accepted." There are only three exceptions to the draconian new typographical rules: telegrams, treaty materials prepared by the State Department's legal affairs office and documents drawn up for the president's signature, it said. Since websites are not one of them I assume we must comply.

      boingboing + ABC News + Lick

      Posted by kj | | comment

      Nasty, Nasty Boobs: Don't Mean a Thing
      Janet's Boob - Not an Accident, Planned!: Of course Janet's breast falling out of her boddice was planned. For weeks, MTV had been saying they were planning "something outrageous" for the Super Bowl show. MTV is also owned by Viacom, which also owns CBS, so it's in effect like a parent telling a child "we can do whatever the hell we want to." Most obviously though, why else would Janet & Justin perform the song "Rock Your Body" unless it didn't have the lyric "Gonna get you naked by the end of this song."

      More pics and analysis and conspiracy talk: "2. There are snaps on her outfit clearly visible, designed to be unsnapped."

      Gothamist reports on Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction: "Justin was supposed to pull away the bustier to reveal a red lace bra underneath, but the garment collapsed."

      The final word on all this madness was sent in by one of our readers and needs to be published:
      I think the naked boob was definitely planned. There was no intention of having a bra there. I think many people in CBS and MTV knew what was going on. They are both owned by Viacom and all. I don't think the chief executives necessarily knew, not sure. I don't think the NFL knew. The No Fun League would have definitely axed the idea. Janet Jackson's new single came out yesterday by the way. I think the real winner in all of this is Timberlake. Any remnants of boy band pussyness still left over from the NSync days are totally gone. Girls will want him even more now and he's earned quite a bit of respect from guys. Michael Powell is going to spend millions of dollars investigating this? Fuck him, stop wasting my tax dollars.

      Posted by MmmMmmBitch | | comment

      Playing the Over/Under
      It looks like's blurb on the over/under was on the money (unfortunately for them if you actually placed the bet):
      Total points to be scored in Super Bowl XXXVIII is sitting at 38, which isn't that surprising - the average total in the 37 Super Bowls played is 45.6. The lowest total ever was in Super Bowl VII, when Miami and Washington managed just 21 points between them. The highest total was Super Bowl XXIX, when San Francisco and San Diego turned up the heat in Miami. Everyone is saying that two defensive teams will lead to lowball, but the two most dominant denfenses of all time, Chicago in SB XX and Tampa Bay last year, ran up 56 and 69 points between them.

      Posted by kj | | comment

      Why the video games got it wrong
      The 1UP Bowl predicted a final outcome of 40-30.
      We put that A.I. to the test. Each game was configured for the computer to control both sides -- what would be decided would be the result of millions of bits of data, statistics, and logic that programmers had to painstakingly add into the games. The details were spot-on, too -- for each match we meticulously recreated the time of the game, the location of the game, and downloaded the absolute latest player rosters and stats. For all intents and purposes, this was the Super Bowl.
      What the games didn't account for was Vinatieri's past failures in Texas Stadium (having missed two in a game earlier this season there): "The Pats have a talented kicker in Adam Vinatieri and they're not afraid to use him." They predict two early field goals by Vinatieri, the same ones he misses in the actual game. As a result, the score would have been 34-30. A much better prediction in that had you taken the Panthers you would have beat the spread (-6.5). Whereas, the one they provided would have had you putting your money on the Pats and losing soundly.

      Posted by kj | | comment

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