TF.com’s senior writer Butch Rogaine went into the offices of NY Mets General Manager Steve Phillips, to find out what he could about the firing of manager Bobby Valentine and the whole pot scandal that plagued the team in the latter half of the season.
Butch Rogaine: Hello Steve, thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I know that the issue about Bobby V’s firing must be getting tiresome for you.
Steve Phillips: No problem man. Hey … wait, who are we gonna be talking about?
BR: Bobby V, your team’s former manager.
SP: Bobby Vinton used to be my manager? Yo man, why did they fire him man?! I liked that guy. Blue Velvet you know and what not.
BR: Hey Steve, those are some funky looking brownies you are eating there.
SP: I still can’t believe it man, I never even got Bobby friggin V’s autograph!
BR: Look Steve, we both know it’s Bobby Valentine.
SP: Oh, yeah, that guy. Yeah, we fired him.
BR: Got any comments?
SP: Yeah, he got into my private stash. At first, I thought it was those seven players we caught, but it was him man. Not only that, but we had general differences insofar as our outlook for the team goes.
BR: You mean like who should be starting and what type of talent needed to be drafted?
SP: No man, like I was liking this dope we were getting from my homes Enrico, it was this Mexican shit. We were doing good for the first few weeks of the season. But then Bobby kept pushing for some hippie-grown organic stuff from some guy he knew in Connecticut.
BR: So how, I mean … did you tell this to your boss Fred Wilpon? Does he know that you guys and the whole team are on the ganja?
SP: Maybe he does, I dunno. He’s on it too -- for medicinal purposes and what not.
BR: So how did this firing come about?
SP: Well, me, Fred and Lou met one night and we decided this is what should happen. Bobby needed to go. It was best for our team and the whole organization.
BR: Lou? Who is Lou?
SP: The Anaheim rally monkey of course. We all smoked up and, I gotta tell you, Lou never made more sense to us than he did that day. He even told us where Bison Dele was. But I forgot already.
BR: I see.
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