a

TwistedFans
SPORTS PARODY & Satire

 

 

a
Rockets Yao Ming 
Donates Organ To Sister


 

 

Currently on TwistedFans.com

Issue #53

     Newly minted Houston Rockets center Yao Ming donated one of his scrotal sacs to 40 year old sister Ling, who was born with just one lung. In a 2 day operation, doctors removed one of the three scrotal sacs carried by Ming, a product of Chinese genetic engineering.

     The scrotal sac was simultaneously sutured to Ling's esophagus and existing lung by noted surgeon Dr. Demento, who then made a sudden and daring decision.

     "At first, it looked like Ling's lungs were going to work fine," commented Demento, just two hours after the operation. "But once we gave her Yao's sac, it was so big that Ling didn't even really need the one lung she already had. So we cut the lung out and attached it to Yao's other two sacs. I think they will be both pleased when they wake up."

     The operation comes just a few days after Jazz center Greg Ostertag donated a kidney to his sister -- and only minutes before Mavericks center Wang Zhi Zhi donated his vagina to Richard Simmons.

     "He just had it laying around there under his armpit, so of course I had to ask him if he'd mind giving it to me," commented Simmons. "It's not like he didn't get anything out of it. I gave him 10 Deal-A-Meal cards and a stick of pink bubble gum. You can't even get that gum in a pack of baseball cards these days," continued Simmons.

     According to Union leader Billy Hunter, aside from being strange oddities in the annals of basketball history, these heartfelt stories are sure to have their impact when the next collective bargaining period begins between players and owners.

     "With the large amount of good press generated, the players will now attract support from a fan base they had yet to win over: the freaks," said Hunter, stomping his hoof on the ground repeatedly as he spoke. "Watch out David Stern, we're ready for you now!"

Butch Rogaine will go under the knife in Issue 6.3
Email this story to a friend
Subscribe to our Newsletter
Most E-mailed Articles
 
   

Mets Still Plot Revenge Against Clemens For Subway Series II

A Statistical Model to Select MLB All-Stars That We Can All Live With

     

Visit our Archive


 
 
 
 

Home | Feedback  | Free Stuff | Disclaimer
Copyright © 2002 TwistedFans, LLC, ARRAWR.