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 NASHVILLE, TN – Some people say Nashville Predators fan Jimmy Jake Bocephus is crazy. No, not for being a Predators fan, but for his strange gift. “I see hockey pucks,” he says in a creepy Haley Joel Osment ‘Sixth Sense’ kind of voice. “It first happened when I was watchin’ a Preds game on the TV. Two periods of play and ten Smirnoff Ices later: I finally done saw a puck, and it all makes sense now.”
Before Jimmy Jake’s revelation, few Nashville residents even knew the sport of hockey existed, or that their city has a hockey franchise. “We just thought there was these guys who liked fighting. I’d turn on my TV and one guy would be smacking t’other with a stick,” explained Mabel Thompson. “It was like WWF on ice. I would never understand why sometimes they’d stop the fighting and make them sit in them things they call penalty boxes. The idea of there being a puck makes a little more sense, I had no idea how they scored points.” However, few of those interviewed for this article expressed a renewed interest in the programming they now know to be hockey. “I still can’t see the puck,” admits Rufus Lucas, Nashville’s local sports aficionado. “Without being able to see the puck, them hockey games don’t got nothing I can’t see by looking out the window at my son Cooter and his friends. They’re always smacking each other with sticks.”
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Luscious Rosenbaum spends his days off studying the mating habits of Dukes of Hazzard groupies.
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