This week, TF reveals its mock version of next year’s NBA draft, which will be held on June 26, 2002. TwistedFans.com scattered twenty of its staff members all over the country to scout the finest basketball talent in the country. Our scouts then joined together with Senior Staff Writer Butch Rogaine at his deluxe suite at the Trump Plaza in New York City. There, they scoured face books, box scores, and the walls -- which were splattered from a fondu experiment gone awry.
What follows are our 10 favorite up and comers for the 2002 draft. Based on our research, it will be a young draft – perhaps the youngest ever. Here goes ...
1. Kenny “Boom Boom” Jamison Pos. Power Forward/Center P.S. 32 (N.Y.)
Analysis: Jamison’s nickname describes his style of play in the paint, and his propensity to soil his trunks. Don’t worry fans, he’ll grow out of it.
2. Joey Smith Pos. Point Guard Msgr. Bird (MA)
Analysis: The only thing keeping Smith from being picked first are rumors attributing the guard’s ballhandling skills to his failure to wash the peanut butter off his hands after lunch. TwistedFans sources have learned, however, that those are just lies spread by a bitter 14 year old at Msgr. Bird.
3. Taz Jenkins* Pos. Small Forward Special Ed. H.S. (NJ)
Analysis: Jenkins has been heavily scouted by Isaiah Thomas, and the Pacers may seek to trade up in order to field an all-H.S. team.
4. Flava Jones* Pos. Point Guard Fashion Industries (NY)
Analysis: Lunchroom insiders say Jones is unhappy with his geography teacher, Mr. Dreyfuss, and wants out of Fashion. Some lottery team may be the lucky beneficiary.
5. Shawon Dawon* Pos. Shooting Guard Tupelo Jr. H.S. (Miss)
Analysis: If NBA scouts are not happy with Dawon’s recess workouts, some European team is going to steal him away.
6. Jesus Wilson* Pos. Center Palo Alto Jr. College. (CA)
Analysis: Troubled college sophomore has been kicked out of 4 schools after sex scandals with various professors. He should fit right in at the NBA.
7. Dantoine Ribeiro* Pos. Power Foward Automotive H.S. (NY)
Analysis: Known as “the Mechanic,” this power forward will muscle his way to a prosperous pro-career.
8. Willie “Doc” Castro* Pos. Power Forward Troy Aikman H.S. (TX)
Analysis: He wants to be a doctor when he grows up, but we think he can be a Wizard.
9. Shamaw Jackson Pos. Center Bobby Knight Elem. (IND)
10. Sokrates Washington Pos. Point Guard Ed Begley Jr. H.S. (HI)
Analysis: The “thinking man’s” player, any pro-team can rely on Washington to make the right decisions at the point.
