Issue #9

Profiles In Excellence: Willy P. Ondabich

July 17, 2001

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TwistedFans
A Tangled Web of Intrigue

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RahwayWillie P. Ondabich would have grown up in Thousand Oaks, California, where his preacher father and burlesque dancer mother resided. Unfortunately, Willie's parents lost him during their Vegas vacation -- to mobster Lucky Knuckles Ragusa in a card game.

However, it became clear early on that Willie was not destined to live a mob life. The infant stunk up Ragusa's car on the drive home to meet his would-be mother, leaving Lucky no choice but to drop Ondabich off at the tent of a traveling circus. There, Willie became a protege of Thighgor the Magnificent, a famous contortionist. After a talent agent spotted him during a show, Willie moved to the big time in Hollywood. There, he served as a child stunt double on such sitcoms as "Silver Spoons," "Growing Pains," "Who's the Boss?" and "Punky Brewster."

However, a torrid affair with "Boss" star Katherine Helmond and several rumored exploits on the set of "The Golden Girls," caused the 13 year old Ondabich to lose his stature as a stunt boy. Willie moved out to New Jersey, where he gained stature as a hair dresser for the bands Bon Jovi and Skid Row. When Bon Jovi began to fizzle, Willie got his G.E.D. and, at the advice of long time mentor David Hasselhoff, enrolled at Trenton State College.

At Trenton State, Willie became student body president, and played a major role in the merger of Trenton State with Princeton into The College of New Jersey. He subsequently took to the rock stage as Goth rocker Marilyn Manson, a position he has agreed to relinquish to understudy Andy Dick in order to put all of his time and effort into TF.com.


Willy P. Ondabich has left the building.

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