Knicks' GM Trades 7th Pick for Ping-Pong Ball



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New York Knicks GM Scott Layden talks to reporters after the Knicks traded their seventh pick in the 2002 NBA draft to the  Houston Rockets on Sunday.
SECAUCUS, NJ – New York Knicks GM Scott Layden took what he believes to be one large step toward making his team more competitive, trading away the Knicks' seventh pick plus future considerations to the Houston Rockets in return for one of the ping-pong balls used in the Draft Lottery. "It's so pretty," noted Layden, admiring his latest acquisition. He then proceeded to test its integrity by biting on the ball, bouncing it off the floor, and spinning it on his finger tip. "We've found the great white hope," he could be heard whispering to someone on his cell phone.

     According to sources close to the GM's thinking, Layden is insane and has never had any basketball knowledge. "Scott's a very instinctive person," noted one member of the team brass. "An idea pops into his head, and he acts immediately, regardless of how stupid it is. We're not allowed to question things – that's how we got 5 point guards and 5 useless small forwards on our team last year. We might as well have a chimp in an Armani suit making the decisions."

Steve Francis shares a laugh with NBA deputy commissioner Russ Granik after telling Granik that his lucky lavender suit got him the first and seventh pick in the 2002 NBA Draft. 
     Point guard Steve Francis, Houston's representative at the draft, was ecstatic at the acquisition. "I'm not even authorized to make trades for the team," he explained. "But I was standing in the corner of the stage, holding a lottery ball that I wanted to keep as a memento. Scott just came up and offered me his pick in return for the ball. How could I refuse?" Francis had nothing but kind words for Layden and the Knicks organization. "Now I know why that team sucks," he told reporters. "Maybe they'll let Scott run the [New York hockey] Rangers next."

     Charles Dolan, the CEO of Knicks owner Cablevision, lauded his GM and tried to look at the bright side: "Scott is building the Knicks into a team whose games we will be proud to televise on the Prevue Channel late at night ... very late at night."

Butch Rogaine

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